vent
I’ve been kept up in my house and hardly talking to people IRL for months, I’ve gone to 1 bar all summer and didn’t even keep in contact with anyone I met. The only thing I do is work as a cashier but I hardly talk to customers anymore and when they do it’s just the same copy paste transaction all over again. I tried to use vrchat as a way to still somewhat be social for a number of months but then I got really stressed and quit it because I wasn’t actually making progress.
It’s been pretty bad lately. I can’t really sleep at night because my mind keeps me up and will drive me to tears if I’m not distracting it 24/7. The last 2 days have been awful, the night before last I ended up taking 100mg of melatonin to just get to bed, but was told not to do that by someone on lemmy so last night I stayed up till 4am just crying. I have other medicines called a “boost bar” thats supposed to help but they don’t really do much.
I hardly ate yesterday because I just didn’t see anything that looked appealing, I tried to go to the store to get something but I ended up just getting a snack and leaving because there were too many people and cried on the way home.
Now I’m sitting in my car outside of work crying yet again wondering how bad this shift is gonna be.
I tried to use vrchat
Genuinely, it was for the long-term best you left there. It is not a great place, and people often end up down some pretty dark places.
was told not to do that by someone on lemmy
Dearie…never ever ever start/stop anything medicinal just because someone said so, especially not on the internet. I do not doubt that the person meant well suggesting not to(Melatonin is just about as misunderstood by folks as Caffeine, it does not do what people think it does), but only you know yourself, and a medical professional is who needs consultation if the situation calls for it. If you do go and see a Medical Professional: You can ask them what they think about Trazodone or Mirtazapine, as the latter helped me with my insomnia(not the former though).
boost bar
Is that…not just the multivitamin food/drink brand? Nothing wrong with them broadly speaking, but that has no relevance to what you are talking about.
If you are getting to the point where it is difficult to even eat/drink, you really really should seek help from a Medical Professional. I know from experience that suggestion gets rather trite to hear, but I also know from experience that it can get to a point where one really does need to seek help, and it honestly seems to me like you are at that point. At least go and see what a Psychiatrist may say.
There are other “natural,” things you could look into, but I cannot and will not offer medical advice. Ashwagandha is something many will name-drop. For me, it made me feel absolutely horrible, but others swear by it. Herbal teas can help with sleep and overall relaxation, like Jasmine, Lavender, or specialty blends designed for various reliefs. I found them pleasant, but I cannot say they did too terribly much personally.
yeah some of the friends I made on vrchat (especially at the start) were not the best, I found some few diamonds in the rough.
the situation with the melatonin is that it was only 1 night and they were warning that taking a lot of it can mess with brain chemistry
as for the third thing, turns out I’m an idiot. I googled it and it’s actually called “BuSpar” 😭😭😭
that’s actually really funny I’ve been calling them that for like 6 months LMAOThere are some really shiny diamonds for a certainty. My Prince I met through that platform, so I do not deny its ability to bring folks together. Unfortunately, like you encountered(but hopefully not the darkness I had to encounter) there is a lot of horribleness.
And I gotcha. Still just be mindful, as sudden start-stops even of OTC can be problematic, and you will know more about yourself and your situation. The person was not wholly wrong, as taking too much likely would weaken the body’s natural production of melatonin or cause a spike in its production to meet the hole left by the supplement’s departure. To elaborate a bit more–Melatonin supplements can help with bringing on tiredness in the body, as it is the chemical that helps you to be in a state of sleepiness. Spiking those levels though only does that–spikes tiredness. That can induce sleep sure, and could make it deep(possibly too deep) in doses unregulated by your Doctor, but it is not a sleeping supplement. It is the foil to Caffeine, which is a stimulant that helps shove melatonin and otherwise to the side to functionally trick you into a perceived wakefulness, while your body is actually still in the tired state just not as much conscious to you. None of this is medical advice, simply what I have read up on, since the two are extremely common chemicals people grab way too quickly to meet a believed need that it does not provide, which can be dangerous, especially the “I just need a coffee and I can keep driving,” types.
And ah. To be fair, BuSpar could absolutely be read and remembered as “BuuStbar.” Still pretty funny though, haha.
Herbal teas can help with sleep and overall relaxation, like Jasmine, Lavender, or specialty blends designed for various reliefs. I found them pleasant, but I cannot say they did too terribly much personally.
if they were actually effective, you’d need a prescription to get them ;-)
If you are getting to the point where it is difficult to even eat/drink,
emotional distress stuff
tbh i’ve seen that plenty of times and 90% of the times it was because the people had emotional stress, one girl wanted a partner and tried to look good (kinda anorexic) and sometimes one just doesn’t see the point in doing anything, including consuming food (depression).
Replying in kind
Absolutely. I know firsthand both having an extremely poor impression of my appearance and the swirling darkness of depression. I have been being treated for quite a while on the depression end, the impression bit I have fought myself with the help thereof. Now I can confidently say “I am too beautiful for any of this shit.” But yes, depression is not easily fought, especially when it is from trauma as opposed to chemical imbalances(or even worse, chemical imbalance combined with trauma). When it gets to a point where it becomes difficult to function though, it is time to seek help. When my panic attacks came back a while ago back when I was not on medicine and were going full force 24/7, I knew it was time to get help, and so I did. Best decision I ever made. Not an easy one to make for many people, it was not something I ever intended on myself, but I could not keep living life like that.
where you live matters a lot. i had zero friends when i still lived with my parents in a shitty small rural village. moved to the city and met a whole lot of cool people. where you live matters a lot.
also yeah i’m not a fan of vrchat. it sells you the illusion of actual human contact, but without the cuddling.
yeah that’s another issue :/
I live in a conservative part of florida and can’t afford to get out
Hey thanks for venting and sharing in here, was kinda nice to read that others go through similar stuff.
Those summer endings with the feeling of not having used the time in the best way can hit especially hard!
What Straßenkatze said sounds pretty reasonable in my opinion.
If you are on some kind of medication and feel like it doesn’t help much, speak to a psychiatrist about it to try something else. There is usually more than one option with these!I hope your shift goes by fast today~
I suffered from “severe depression”, always felt like that was an incomplete diagnosis, and worked retail in my youth and it nearly drove me insane. It’s not that the job was difficult, it was just stressful seeing so many random people in the rough.
After that, I worked several different restaurant jobs. Those can be stressful but in a way that you don’t have time to think or worry about anything except getting these people satisfied with flavors and textures. Deliveries can be fun, if you are a good driver. Gave my brain that won’t shut up a job - it just has to be on high alert for the other maniacs driving, and bob along to techno music. 😆
Eventually found a job as a skilled tradesman dealing with computers and electronics, which was my personal side-study all along. Never got far in education after graduating high school but now have a proper career that is not the same motions every damn day.
I took Tai Chi and found out how to get my mind listening to my body and brain. I have zero spirituality, but this type of active meditation helped me!
Lemmy’s here if you need to chat. 😅
yeah I’m just kinda in my head a bit. I like my job, or at the least it’s descent enough that I am comfortable staying here. It’s only a few minutes from my house and there’s a couple different positions I can rotate though like cleaning or carts if I get too tired of customers.
I’d like to try a different job but I imagine I wouldn’t like it as much and would want to come back xD
Well, that’s good. I’m worried the bright lights of retail might be messing with your Circadian rhythm. See if you can reduce your blue light exposure in the evening to help with sleeping. “Night Light” setting on phone. Warm LED bulbs in the living area. It sounds dumb but your body should be producing its own melatonin on a schedule.
As far as I can tell, the supplements are holistic and unproven. Spend that money instead on things that make your sleeping area relaxing. I like a good buckwheat pillow and how it keeps my head cool. Little improvements are charms to keep anxiety and bad thoughts away from my home.
Tai Chi
hell yeah
