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Bruh play goalie and watch a dude camp in your crease for like 5 minutes while offense bounces the puck around the center line and tell me offside isn’t real fuck you
night before the game you gotta eat something that gives you the most rancid farts known to man and then let the stank cloud keep them out of the box.
The year is 20XX. No one can score a goal under the draconian offside rule. Because of this, the winner of a match depends solely on penalties. The fake injury metagame has evolved to ridiculous levels due to it being the only remaining factor to decide matches.
teams go to extreme lengths to throw their players tactically in front of opposing player’s legs, pengci-ing themselves. in the end, everyone has been redcarded except for the goalies who now try to snipe each other across the field
offside sounds like a rule that was added because shit sucked prior to the rule, like moving pawns 2 squares on the first move made chess better.
icing isn’t real either
“ohhh the puck went to the other end because i suck at catching it woe is me stop the game”
it’s in your end of the ice now
that means the puck is yours! for free!! why are you upset?? just play the fucking puck
also goaltenders should be allowed to cross center ice like everyone else
Oh no you can’t pass to a guy who is in a good position that’s cheating.
Fuck you.
The offside trap adds strategic depth.
That’s like saying pretending your knees exploded because someone walked past you adds strategic depth.
I used to be an adventurer like you, until I took an arrow to the knee.
on the flip side of things I was watching some old champions league final recaps and keepers used to run toward the penalty taker after the whistle and jump at the ball, it looked funny, that ‘keeper stay on line’ rule sure changed penalties
Compromise: players can be offside, but then the goalkeeper gets to kick them in the nuts.
I love how everyone assumes they know what sport OP is talking about
