I’m in my early 30s, so not necessarily “mid-life”, but I think what I have been experiencing can be described this way. I went through a lot this past year, and it has both left some large scars as well as healed some other aspects and caused new ways of thinking in others. I’ve tried new things and enjoyed the things that I’ve tried.

But I feel like I need something “more”, but I have no idea what that is. I keep getting caught on the horrifying realization of life being fleeting and I want to do something to make it more whole. But I can’t outrun death so I don’t know that anything is left to be done. But I feel like I need something to fill that space. I may in fact be chasing something that doesn’t exist idk.

I guess I just feel a bit lost and would appreciate some direction.

More about me that may or may not influence your advice: I’ve always been a loner and the sort of “terminally online” type. I don’t experience sexual attraction, so it sort of puts most options of relationships out the window. Asexual “dating” is not as prevalent or simple as you’d think. My career is very solid and I’m paid very well, so I’m not interested in switching careers. My career was a huge source of my trauma this past year, but I have made a lot of progress since and it’s really not something I can easily change. I have discovered new and healthier forms of self-expression and have done new things. I own where I live and would not be able to sell it for as much as I paid for it either, which is another reason I’d be against moving. I am physically close-ish to family and visit every couple of weeks.

Thanks all for listening.

  • DagwoodIII@piefed.socialEnglish
    41·
    4 days ago

    Do something that scares you.

    Scuba dive, or fly in an open cockpit airplane, or try public speaking, or go to a city you’ve never been to before.

    I’m not suggesting you put yourself in actual danger, just jolt yourself.

      • CarrierLost@infosec.pubEnglish
        3·
        3 days ago

        I’m glad I saw this comment. I was going to suggest motorcycling. It’s something you can do if you’re comfortable being alone (which seems to be the case from this post) and it forces the kind of “clear focus on the present” that is diluted so much in the “terminally online”. I also count myself in that demographic.

        I went through some very similar feelings in my 30’s, but motorcycling and playing music really help keep my emotions in the place I like them to be.