surely you can understand how the person would feel if they expected a date but got something else?
I can tell you exactly what I would do if I went on a date with a girl and she brought a friend. I would introduce myself to both and be happy I got to meet two people to potentially befriend and not just one. Because that’s what first dates are often for, you befriend someone and see if you want to spend more time together.
But if their agreement was a date, that is usually between two people and bringing with a third party is not something you do.
I don’t care what people are “supposed” to do. I’m almost allergic to people telling me “that’s not what you do”. I’m me, she is she and if that guy wants to date her he should date her and not some abstract societal expectation.
I’m not defending the petty response to this btw. It is very unnecessary and they could just go home, but this doesn’t remove possible disappointment.
Ok so you had a bad first date, call big whoop magazine and see if it gets published…
You’re just using your autism as an excuse to be an asshole.
I’m autistic myself. Being autistic isn’t a pass for being a jerk.
Sure, I sometimes have trouble with social cues. I can be socially awkward. But I don’t need to be an expert at reading social cues to remember basic cultural norms. I don’t need to be an expert at social cues to know that I shouldn’t go out naked in public. I don’t need to be an expert at interpreting emotions to know I should not start randomly screaming in the middle of a wedding. I may struggle with people’s names, but being autistic doesn’t prevent me from realizing I shouldn’t call people slurs. Autistic people are perfectly capable of learning and memorizing certain basic obligations that arise from certain social situations. Maybe you can’t perform everything like a neurotypical person would. But autism is no excuse for ignoring certain well-known and pre-arranged rules of social settings.
Being autistic can be a perfectly valid excuse for being awkward at a date. It doesn’t give you license to just completely violate all the social obligations that come with going on a date.
You live in a society and that comes with certain social obligations. When you ask someone on a date, you are asking them to obey these obligations, and in turn you are promising to obey them. If you can’t follow the basic rules of a social setting (at least those that are within your limitations), then you shouldn’t participate in that social setting.
I don’t care what you would do. Good for you however you would handle it etc etc.
Because that’s what first dates are often for, you befriend someone and see if you want to spend more time together.
Yes, and a date is different from just meeting someone who could be a friend, you’re meeting someone with the intention of developing a romantic relationship.
I don’t care what people are “supposed” to do. I’m almost allergic to people telling me “that’s not what you do”.
Maybe a language barrier? Let me rephrase it for you: Bringing with a third party is not something people in general do since it’s not part of societal etiquette of dating. And, as we all know, we live in a society and can’t center the reality on ourselves.
I’m me, she is she and if that guy wants to date her he should date her and not some abstract societal expectation.
I don’t understand what you mean. But the person obviously showed up for a date, expecting the one they intended to meet but meeting two people instead. How can you not understand how the person in question might feel about this?
Ok so you had a bad first date, call big whoop magazine and see if it gets published…
I can tell you exactly what I would do if I went on a date with a girl and she brought a friend. I would introduce myself to both and be happy I got to meet two people to potentially befriend and not just one. Because that’s what first dates are often for, you befriend someone and see if you want to spend more time together.
I don’t care what people are “supposed” to do. I’m almost allergic to people telling me “that’s not what you do”. I’m me, she is she and if that guy wants to date her he should date her and not some abstract societal expectation.
Ok so you had a bad first date, call big whoop magazine and see if it gets published…
This is a good working definition of a sociopath.
Yeah yeah autists are sociopaths 🦨💨
You’re just using your autism as an excuse to be an asshole.
I’m autistic myself. Being autistic isn’t a pass for being a jerk.
Sure, I sometimes have trouble with social cues. I can be socially awkward. But I don’t need to be an expert at reading social cues to remember basic cultural norms. I don’t need to be an expert at social cues to know that I shouldn’t go out naked in public. I don’t need to be an expert at interpreting emotions to know I should not start randomly screaming in the middle of a wedding. I may struggle with people’s names, but being autistic doesn’t prevent me from realizing I shouldn’t call people slurs. Autistic people are perfectly capable of learning and memorizing certain basic obligations that arise from certain social situations. Maybe you can’t perform everything like a neurotypical person would. But autism is no excuse for ignoring certain well-known and pre-arranged rules of social settings.
Being autistic can be a perfectly valid excuse for being awkward at a date. It doesn’t give you license to just completely violate all the social obligations that come with going on a date.
You live in a society and that comes with certain social obligations. When you ask someone on a date, you are asking them to obey these obligations, and in turn you are promising to obey them. If you can’t follow the basic rules of a social setting (at least those that are within your limitations), then you shouldn’t participate in that social setting.
Oh and you calling me a sociopath is not being a jerk 🤣🤣 ?? I’m just returning what’s handed out here 🤷🥰
I don’t care what you would do. Good for you however you would handle it etc etc.
Yes, and a date is different from just meeting someone who could be a friend, you’re meeting someone with the intention of developing a romantic relationship.
Maybe a language barrier? Let me rephrase it for you: Bringing with a third party is not something people in general do since it’s not part of societal etiquette of dating. And, as we all know, we live in a society and can’t center the reality on ourselves.
I don’t understand what you mean. But the person obviously showed up for a date, expecting the one they intended to meet but meeting two people instead. How can you not understand how the person in question might feel about this?
You okay there?
You seem sincere, I’ll give you a proper respond tomorrow or so. The other replies got me in a clowning mode lol sorry