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2 yr. ago

  • Honestly, if I'm the defense, this has gotta be awesome, right? Now, I'm not a lawyer, but I have watched Boston Legal twice, so that's basically the same thing, and what I'm hearing is these people want to get up on the stand and show the jury a video which either:

    A) to the particularly inattentive, shows the victim clearly alive, or

    B) demonstrates that even video evidence can be completely fabricated from whole cloth, and the opposition is more than capable of doing so to serve their own interests

    Barring the staggeringly unlikely event that the defendant goes full-on Perry Mason Perp and outright says "hey, sorry I killed you, man" to the hologram, this seems like a pretty sweet deal.

  • inevitable syntax ambiguity aside, "deskill-ling" would be a good term for someone who has been de-skilled

  • nah, see, you got

    1. self-aggrandizing unelected bureaucrat
    2. intentionally sabotaging government programs to make his own vanity project look better
    3. blind obsession with deeply-flawed and barely-functional technological monstrosity
    4. claims sole credit for his program's achievements despite, at best, hiring the guy that hired the guy that hired the guy to build the schematic that some other guy gave him
    5. definitely blackmailing his boss
    6. barely committed to his administration's political agenda beyond whatever inflates his own ego
    7. nazi cosplay
    8. not a real face

    dude's not Vader, he's Tarkin. Vance is the moody teenager from bumfuck nowhere who suddenly started sucking the spiteful old warlock's dick despite years of going on about how much he hates his whole deal, likely screwing over his wife in the process, making him Vader. and I guess Obi-Wan is Pope Francis because Vance definitely killed him.

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  • How much food and what is it?

    ...Did we mention it doubles as a convenient dumping ground for mob snitches?

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  • in case you want to self-host your own algae, I guess

  • "Eat your dice, Brennan!"

  • insane

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  • "I have some real problems with this SVU script. We can't say 'dick wolf' on TV!"

  • "Frank, are you saying 'soul' or 'hole'?"

  • Motherfucker looks like he sleeps in a space blanket and knows a lot about the Magna Carta.

  • Which is gonna be a real road block when they get to Step 8.

  • And try very hard to let the door hit you on the way out!

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  • I suppose, to be fair, I would also probably strive to do the exact opposite of anything the Heritage Foundation told me to do.

  • if anything they've reopened their account with Master Don

  • "Well I was trying to add Jeff Goldblum and your names are obviously right next to each other in my phone, so..."

  • I got a lot of mileage out of the fact that there's a specifically Portuguese Man o' War on page 79 of the AD&D Monster Manual, implying the existence of a Portugal somewhere in the Forgotten Realms.

  • Seems like everyone's been getting that noise lately. I'm on my third.

  • I think I'm gonna head on down to the Bong Recreation Area and take the Green Trail for a while if you know what I mean

    (I mean I'm going to take a scenic nature walk in one of Wisconsin's beautiful state parks, what the hell did you think I meant?)

  • "We've erected a 3-kilometer-long tied-arch bridge so people can get into and out of the Superior bay area quicker and easier, and we'll be dedicating it to World War II pilot Richard Bong."

    "Okay, what are you calling it?"

    "Right now we've got 'Dick Bong's Long, Curvaceous Erection for the Repeated Entering and Exiting of a Wet Superior Inlet.'"

    "...We'll workshop it."