I was tempted to write that article, actually, but I went with the Time Beavers instead.
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- Posts
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- 3 yr. ago
The Onion @midwest.social Trump White House Nervous as Comedy Central/Paramount Donate Combined $30 Million to Presidential Library “For Next Week’s Episodes”
The Onion @midwest.social As Inflation Heats Up, Republicans Rally Around Idea of Making Money Worth Less
The Onion @midwest.social Trump to Replace USS with PTS (President Trump’s Ship) on all Navy Vessels in January 2026
The Onion @midwest.social Israel Angered as Holocaust Trademark Denied by World Court
The Onion @midwest.social Attempting to Dispel Pedophilia Claims, Trump Press Office Releases List of His Legal-Aged Mistresses
The Onion @midwest.social White House Refuses to Reveal Content Trump Felt “Was Too Racist to Release”
The Onion @midwest.social As Epstein Questions Increase, Trump Administration Officials Becoming Nervous About Sex Tape Releases
The Onion @midwest.social White House: Donald Trump Has Begun Referring to Himself as “Doctor”
The Onion @midwest.social White House Website Has New Section Renting Bedrooms: Lincoln Bedroom $1 Million Per Night
The Onion @midwest.social ICE Predicts Record Month as Over 800 Mexican Search & Rescue Workers Deported to Honduras
The Onion @midwest.social FEMA to Deploy Over 600,000 Prayers to Texas
The Onion @midwest.social Turmoil in Supreme Court as Palantir Makes $1.2 Billion Offer to Purchase Justice Thomas
The Onion @midwest.social Trump Confirms “He Will Win” UFC Fight at White House, Confirms Pay per View
The Onion @midwest.social China Lays Off 50,000 Intelligence Officers, Redirects “Much of the Money” to Republican Donations
The Onion @midwest.social Secretary Hegseth and CNN Committed to Ending Rumors He Cannot Interview After Downing a Fifth of Vodka
The Onion @midwest.social Trump Declares ‘Total Cease Fire’ a Test, Says We Passed
The Onion @midwest.social Robert Kennedy and Trump to Lick Bat on June 1st to Mock LGBT, Covid Scientists
The Onion @midwest.social Trump Confirms “Golden Dome” Actually “Golden Do Me”
TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name @lemmy.world I Know You’ve Seen This Before
The Onion @midwest.social Journalists Demand More Synonyms for Stupid as Trump Administration Enters Third Month in Office
I love your name. “Look upon my giant spiders, and despair.”