I was roommates with Dr. Funk.

If you are and you admit it, you’ll get more grace from intelligent people. Sometimes.

Can anyone read this comment? It won’t load for me.

I once was taking a nice old man to the hospital, when he stopped breathing. I gave him a second and tried to rouse him, and he was pretty stubborn about it, but he still had a weak pulse. I called to my partner.

“Hey, how close are we to the hospital?”

“About 5 minutes, why?”

“Well, he’s not breathing. So if you hit any traffic, hit the lights, will you?”

I bagged him for about 3-4 minutes. Traffic was light, and we were making pretty good time, so we decided not to freak anybody out. The guy came to, and looked confused.

“What happened,” he asked.

“You stopped breathing, so I was breathing for you.”

“Oh. Thank you.”

“You are very welcome.”

He’s still the only person who ever said thank you when I tried to save their life.

Roberts should just accept that his court is one of the three pillars in the collapse of the US into a middle power in the next 25 years.

86.9% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

It’s that big so it can reach the 2 fuel pumps needed to fill up.

😁

Atlanta is the Delta hub; I try to make the location relevant. Like the new drone article… there’s a drone base outside Sugarland. Shhhh, don’t tell. 🙂

He doesn’t like to ask for money, but the artist has a patreon and I support it.

Leo had a scheduling conflict he had to untangle.

Does that make me like the ogre guy?

Now I’m going to spend all day trying to find a Quantum Leap cow pun.

Not the Onion, I write these just for Lemmy.

Unfortunately that just counts as one of your 99 problems.

I’m gonna make you stay up all night because of this, aren’t I?

I’m ashamed my satire is more plausible than anything they’ve said.

Common mistake, Bob Ross was self taught.

Democrats are demanding drone locks to fix the problem.

‘Murica