Some days I open Instagram and it feels like everyone is winning except me.
New job. New car. New trip. Someone’s “6 months of consistency” post. Someone else casually mentioning their salary hike like it’s nothing.
And for a few minutes, I genuinely feel like I’m falling behind in some race everyone else is running faster than me.
I’ll be honest, sometimes it’s not just comparison, it’s jealousy. Real, uncomfortable jealousy. The kind you don’t want to admit out loud because it feels petty, but it’s there.
Then I remind myself of a few things.
Nobody posts their bad days. The rejection emails, the loans, the burnout, the fights, the doubt at 2am, none of that makes it to the feed. What we’re comparing ourselves to is a highlight reel, not a full life.
Everyone’s timeline is different. Someone’s “success” at 22 might be someone else’s struggle at 22, and that’s fine. Racing against a timeline that isn’t yours is a losing game by definition.
The feeling is normal, but it’s not information. Jealousy tells you something matters to you, it doesn’t tell you that you’re behind. It just means you want something. That’s worth noticing, not spiraling over.
I don’t have this fully figured out. I still catch myself comparing sometimes. But I’m trying to remind myself that a feed is not a scoreboard, and I’m not actually competing with strangers online.
If you’ve ever felt this way, how do you deal with it? Genuinely asking, not just venting.???
I’ve found that the jealousy makes it that much sweeter when you do get there. It enhances the experience. As long as you’re able to keep it from being toxic for you.
Credit card debt or rich parents
Instagram exists to make you feel like that.
I would genuinely uninstall it if it ever has you wondering these things. People’s number 1 criteria for whether they should post something to instagram is “will it make people think i’m hitting a milestone in my life??”
You make a good point when you say nobody posts their bad days. I suppose, counter-intuitive though it may seem, that people who post more bragposts are actually having a harder time, hence why they need to bragpost more often.
Delete Instagram and be happy
Deleted Instagram in 2018 and I will never go back. What a cesspool
I did but i feel less connected to everyone now. Still net positive I think
Happy cake day!
Many people go into debt to keep up the appearance of success.
As I say, 99 failures and 1 success is 1 success to others. Some things take 9999 tries and some take one. But from the outside 999 failures and 1 win is 1 win.
People who don’t have enough money can’t afford to take any risks. Risks are only for the rich, and after 9999 failures, effectively ruining other people’s lives, they claim how successful they are when they finally wisen up and just steal a poor woman or man’s brilliant idea.
100 failures + temporarily borrowing someone else’s success also looks like 1 success from the outside.
Some days I open Instagram
That’s the problem.
It’s literally in your hands to solve your problem. Don’t compare yourself to others and delete social media. It is that easy.
If we’re heeding instagram photos, we’re too far gone to be helped, until we rise to some baseline of sense. Nothing else can work until we can at least provide that.
Stop comparing yourself to the ideals that others are presenting as norms.
The whole point of those platforms is to sell yourself as being better then others so the platform can then place ads that make you think those products will help you reach the same place you just saw.
Trying to work on it …
You can start by deleting the app.
Just do it, postponing it won’t make it easier. I did it and find myself not spending as much time on stuff that didn’t even really matter. Got most of my family on signal to get off of WhatsApp and now I’m Meta free, until they buy signal or something at least lol.
I deleted all that shite.
It’s nice not subconsciously comparing myself to people I don’t know anymore.
I got the the point where I just didn’t give a fuck about people’s holidays, offspring, cocktails at some pijo bar etc.
This song always makes me feel better
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI
Promise it’s not a rickroll.
I know this had been said, but, none of it is real. As you said its the highlight reel. I am drowning, but, everyday I wake up I count 10 things I’m grateful for. Comparison is the theft of joy.
Comparison of the theft of joy.
I’ve never heard it stated that way before but I believe it to be true.
First off, you’re on Insta or Facebook, most people are only on there to brag or beg. It’s toxic, get off of there.
Second, life sucks. You could have been dealt a crap hand in life and have to work harder than those you associate with. Maybe you made some bad choices and you need to work your way out of that. No way for me to know.
Life is about compromise and you don’t know what they gave up or the life lottery they won to get to where they are.
The point is, it’s all a mask. As corny as it may sound, you need to determine what goals you need to set, figure out what you need to do to obtain those goals, and you be the winner of your story, not they be the winner of yours.
Very few people post depressing stuff on Instagram.
I’m only just now feeling like my life is on track and I’m almost 30.
Meanwhile my partners friends both have a nice house, great jobs, and just had a baby. Everyone’s path is different man.
My advice is just do your best and enjoy the ride. Count all the good things in your life. Take a minute, put down your phone and just be with your thoughts.
For perspective, me at 22. Kicked out of the military, recently divorced, and living on a couch in my parents basement.
By any measure, I was WAY behind anyone else I knew.
Now, at 50, I have a job I truly love, a nice apartment with just me and the cat. Have a couple motorcycles, game consoles, and my time is my own.
I’m not rich, but I make more than I spend in a given month, have enough savings that I’m not living paycheck to paycheck, and an emergency expense won’t ruin me.
It took a long time to figure out what happiness looked like for me, and to stop judging my life by those around me.
Sure, my siblings are more “successful”, but I can’t say they seem happier than I am.
I don’t use any social media aside from Lemmy, I don’t follow anyone, and experience people the old fashioned way, in person or through phone calls.
Look around your life and see the things you do have. Not to post, just for you to recognize.
Think about what it is that makes you happy, both day to day, and in say a five year plan. Make a goal, make it achievable, and then do it. Just for you.
Go see a live show, buy yourself a present, take a short trip to see a place you’ve never been, invest in a new hobby, take up a musical instrument.
And for fuck sake stay away from AI chats and social media!
