So a friend of mine who I’ve had a good relationship with for several months told me about a month ago that she wants to stop talking to me all together as she thinks I am too overbearing and bring up unnecessary topics unintentionally. She basically said that I stole her voice from her, that she never can get a word in around me, and that she is a very private person. Yet, she never let me explain why I am the way that I am.
I never meant for this to happen, and I feel terrible about it, it’s all my fault. I want to write her a letter to apologize, as we both communicate best through writing. In this draft, it seems like I’m talking entirely about me, but really, I’m trying to understand how she feels. I need to make edits obviously though lol.
If you are interested or good at writing / editing, I’d love to know where I can improve. There will be three posts as I am only allowed to add one photo at a time 🙄.
The last 60% of the message is about yourself. It might feel like you are just explaining yourself but other people perceive that as you defending yourself because you think you were right and shouldn’t have to apologize. Focus on what your friend said, how they might feel and how you are going to try to make them feel more comfortable going forward.
I appreciate you sharing this, my plan is to delete the stories that are about me, and instead, explain how I have changed.
I don’t think you should say much about yourself at all except to say that you have engaged in some self-reflection, that she was right, and that you’re sorry for making her feel that way.
Short, understanding, undemanding, and not accidentally guilting her about why you behaved the way you did. Then leave it. It’s up to her whether she wants to re-engage with you.
Or you should not send her any letter at all.
Those are the kind, respectful options. Don’t make it about you.