The abolishment of the nuclear family is something I’ve never been sold on. Like, here in the US, we don’t even have multi generational households generally, and I’ve spent some time in places where people live in close proximity to a lot of their relatives. I haven’t been anywhere that let’s say “primary” relationships (as in nuclear) aren’t significant.
My family is nuclear in that proximity to them is radioactive to me and therefore I see greater value in the “weaker” (i.e. non blood) but more various forms of connection I’ve formed since, with people who don’t talk about murdering people like me. But that’s just my exp
I fully get that. I’m fortunate in that I have good relations with my “blood” family, but I do have extremely close relationships that I consider “family” or closer. I’m just saying I’m not sold on the idea on a general, social level.
Yeah I mean definitely jealous of people who have that in a stable form haha. But decentering that family model and normalizing leaving it when it is not functional and uplifting alternate models is good for others, while those in stable families can continue to be
If I’m not mistaken there have been some family abolitionists who tried to raise kids without parents. Turns out that’s exactly how you breed kids with attachment disorders. Young kids use their relationship with their primary caretakers as a template for the rest of the major relationships in their life.
The nuclear family is a historical aberration and it’s not unusual for infants to have multiple primary caregivers that they can rely on to get their needs reliably met.
Attachment theory as popularly understood is basically astrology for how you and your mommy got along before you were 18 months old. Attachment is at minimum a dyadic process; an attachment “style” is something that emerges from the social interaction of two or more people.
The abolishment of the nuclear family is something I’ve never been sold on. Like, here in the US, we don’t even have multi generational households generally, and I’ve spent some time in places where people live in close proximity to a lot of their relatives. I haven’t been anywhere that let’s say “primary” relationships (as in nuclear) aren’t significant.
My family is nuclear in that proximity to them is radioactive to me and therefore I see greater value in the “weaker” (i.e. non blood) but more various forms of connection I’ve formed since, with people who don’t talk about murdering people like me. But that’s just my exp
Friends are family you get to choose
I fully get that. I’m fortunate in that I have good relations with my “blood” family, but I do have extremely close relationships that I consider “family” or closer. I’m just saying I’m not sold on the idea on a general, social level.
Yeah I mean definitely jealous of people who have that in a stable form haha. But decentering that family model and normalizing leaving it when it is not functional and uplifting alternate models is good for others, while those in stable families can continue to be
Not that I think you disagree I’m just musing
Yeah we’re on the same page :)
If I’m not mistaken there have been some family abolitionists who tried to raise kids without parents. Turns out that’s exactly how you breed kids with attachment disorders. Young kids use their relationship with their primary caretakers as a template for the rest of the major relationships in their life.
The nuclear family is a historical aberration and it’s not unusual for infants to have multiple primary caregivers that they can rely on to get their needs reliably met.
Attachment theory as popularly understood is basically astrology for how you and your mommy got along before you were 18 months old. Attachment is at minimum a dyadic process; an attachment “style” is something that emerges from the social interaction of two or more people.
I could go on at length here.
i would read an effort post