Hi friends. Is it fucked up to flirt with someone with no intention of taking it further? I’m in a long-term monogamous relationship. Sometimes I crave a little validation from strangers. I’m not going to cheat on my partner, but I do have a need to feel desirable to others. I don’t feel like a bit of flirting is a betrayal of my relationship, but I’m less confident about how other people feel. Like, I don’t want to waste someone else’s time, but I guess maybe I am leading people on a bit if I chat with them without mentioning my partner.
The replies to this post have me more convinced that I’m not hurting anyone. Maybe you’ve gotten the wrong idea about what’s happening. As I mentioned in another reply, I’m not initiating these interactions. If I do initiate conversation with a woman at the bar, I mention my partner pretty quickly, because I don’t want someone to think I’m hitting on them. If someone initiates conversation with me, I don’t rush to mention my partner. Partly, this is because it can feel awkward to wedge in there. Like, I don’t know right away if this person is flirting with me. If it transpires, that I do feel some flirtation, yes I do enjoy that, and I’m not in a hurry to shut it down. I am not going to let it progress to anything explicit or physical. Just a bit of fun conversation for 20 or 30 minutes. I would guess they enjoy it as much as I do. I don’t know their situation any more than they know mine.