• La Dame d'Azur@lemmygrad.ml
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    1 month ago

    It sucks, thanks for asking.

    I’m 28 and have only been living on my own for 2 years while at risk of being homeless every day. 🙃

  • lazynooblet@lazysoci.al
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    1 month ago

    Nothing wrong with a large family household. Makes economic sense and we can all work together to look after each other.

    • ButtBidet [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 month ago

      I contributed to this, but I always thought that the Western obsession with moving out at 18 was really weird and wasteful. Obviously everyone is different, but when I’ve talked to non Western residents who do family housing, one saves money on rent, food, housework, etc. Old people are cared for and have something to do, parents get help with baby sitting, kids haves more adult interactions.

      That said, I’ve talked to enough non Western residents who this setting failed for them because their family was toxic. I’m sure that happens too.

      I don’t pretend to know about this very well, so please forgive me if this sounds like an authoritative word.

      • María Arias de Reyna@floss.social
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        1 month ago

        @ButtBidet @lazynooblet Spanish here. We move late* (traditionally when married somewhen in the twenties) and remain close to our families. We like it.

        But that used to be a choice. You could move out sooner if you liked (in previous generations, only men,obviously).

        The problem is when you can’t even plan moving out before you are forty. Even if your family is not toxic, there’s a very low chance of building your own life.

        * From my perspective it is not late, it is just the right time.

      • Pathfinder@lemmygrad.ml
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        1 month ago

        I moved out at 22 (went away for college at 18) and I do sort of regret it. I get on great with my parents despite some of their religious and political ideas. I could lived with them for years and been pretty happy. But I moved out because that was just what you did (this was the mid 00s).

        • ButtBidet [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          1 month ago

          I grew up in the 90s and living with parents into adulthood was considered very bad (for silly reasons). I do regret not pushing past those ideas at the time.

      • sinovictorchan@lemmygrad.ml
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        1 month ago

        My family are one of the victims of Communism who use victim card to gain free citizenship status in countries with free stolen stolen land, free child slaves in Indian Residential fake schools, stolen innovations from plundered civilization, strategic trading locations, good relationship with global empires, and headstart on industrialization. I can relate with the desire to escape from a toxic family. However, I now need to take care of my incompetent mother who always blame me for her constant miscommunication, her inability to teach life skills, and her authoritarian bootlicking obsession.

    • amemorablename@lemmygrad.ml
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      1 month ago

      I agree in principle. The problem is it’s not happening because USians value family more than they did before, but because people can’t afford as much to go out on their own. That’s not to say nobody values family, but I’m pretty sure valuing of family is overall worse in the US than in most countries. Those of us in the US are very individualized in thinking and culture, and that induces more tension from being pressed (by economic conditions) into staying at home for longer.

      As Maria touched on, it’s different if it’s a choice vs. if the conditions all but force you into it.

  • PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml
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    1 month ago

    Also note the slight drop during worst covid, totally unrelated to at least one million people, disproportionally elder, dying to keep the line up.