I’ve heard several stories about couples that suddenly stop having sex, start snapping at each other for stupid bs, your girlfriend who was so sweet and supporting becomes her mother, a raging, yelling psychopath, looking for excuses to be passive aggressive, inviting her friends back home when all you want to do is rest after your workday, your boyfriend, so passionate about you is suddenly cold towards you and wants to be left alone. Before having a child you were inseparable, now it’s like you hate each other and rant about your loved one with your friends…

I couldn’t survive such a radical personality change.

Does this phase eventually runs its course?

How do you find the mental fortitude to ignore the stupid bs your partner does or says?

How would you describe love to your partner a year after having a baby?

Is there any way to know if you and your partner are going to make it and remain a couple after having a child?

  • ryathal@sh.itjust.works
    3·
    18 hours ago

    There are things you have to be prepared for and you will snap at each other at least once, your life will change and there are good and bad things about it. There are a lot of things you can do to help. Most things come down to proper planning and sticking to a rigid schedule for baby while being flexible about what each parent does. As a father be prepared to do 99% of of household things like cooking, shopping, cleaning, and laundry for about the first month.

    • start sleep training early, like week 2 or 3. The earlier you start establishing a schedule the faster it works. Things get vastly easier if they sleep alone through even part of the night.
    • get mom in post partum therapy right away, it’s more of a when not an if that she will experience some. Most experience mild symptoms, but a mom that gets even more fatigued and snippy makes everything more difficult.
    • your free time will drastically reduce, this can be a big source of problems. Especially in the first few months. You can still do things, and you occasionally should, leaving the house is good for everyone, just be flexible with it. Also find something you can do in short bursts for relaxation.