I’ve recently made this decision with my lifelong closest friend. I’ve known about his changing views for a while but its really hard to let go of a friend I’ve had for 15 years. I justified it to myself because I wanted to make sure he had my perspective around and I thought he was starting to mellow out. Turns out he was just learning to avoid politics around his friends.

It came to a head when I moved to a new city and he stayed with me for 2 weeks. After hanging with my local friends for a year, I realized I was always avoiding the elephant in the room with him. When I introduced him to my friends, I realized I was really hoping he wouldn’t say anything crazy. I was really hoping my trans friend wouldn’t show up in case he decided to make that a focal point. He’s been “getting more religious” (dominionist, christo-fascist). And I can tell he’s still disguising himself even when we talk openly about politics and religion.

More recently, two other friends stayed with me for a week. They’re also long-time friends with the first guy. We all collectively realized that we were much more comfortable around each other than we were around him. I was excited to introduce them to my local friends. I never had to pick my words or hold my tongue. So I’m going low contact with him. It sucks but I can’t call someone a friend that has such fundamentally opposed values to my own. If it were just a difference in how much taxation is the right amount or how healthcare should be administered, I could look past it. But he’s gone pretty authoritarian and believes some of my other friends shouldn’t exist. I can’t reconcile that.