Not sure If this are right place for that (and sorry, while I do speak Englisch okay-isch, I am not native speaker), but this thoughts does make impossible to sleep at nights.

My life is taken really bad turn many years ago, and 5 years ago it become just broken.

I had my parents, my sibling, place where we lived. Everything was fine. Or I thought so.

My sibling for almost 2 whole years is… dead. There is nothing ceremonious about it. They are just… Dead.

I thought that I had wonderful parents. Even despite beating, screaming and other stuff that they told and done to me throughout the years. One of them just did not do much as parent. That resulted in many mental and physical issues, that I feel to this day.

I remember my hometown. It is now turned into rubbles. It was not great place, but I liked it.

As result of all of I left with only to move to different country, to start my life here instead.

But it is hard. Learning languages is hard. Trying to navigate this world is hard. And I do not have that much time to fix all of that.

I was always socially akward. It is hard for me. I have issues with both my body and my mind, my health. But I am mostly on my own now. With no idea how to proceed and how to deal with this pressure.

And all of that just makes me not wanting to sleep at night. Like now.

I keep thinking about that.

How go people deal with that?