Well, that actually is kinda simple. Ein Auto means “a car” (any car, not yet specified) Das Auto means “the car” (a particular car that’s known or already mentioned) Makes sense?

No, because I did not really learned this in English, for reasons of not understanding articles as a whole. My languages does not really makes such difference, I think. Maybe technically somewhere else, but not practically. If I am talking about “Apple”, I talk about “Apple”, not “a” or “the”, just Apple.

Makes sense?

No… Even our books have this examples, where sentences are with “the” article.

Honestly, if I’d be Zelensky, I would want to stop my people pissing off to other countries and would require passport-updates every year or they get void forever. That might make people consider twice :-(

You are not that far away from reality.

Yikes. And 2000 (after tax) is not achievable with McDonalds & Co. And the usually best chance like Ukranian-speaking support is probably REALLY saturated here right now :(

Yeah, and I am not even sure what my options are, so eh. Nicht so gut.

I thought this mostly applies to our far-east-immigrants, they segregate and want their own culture but with german privileges not in their own repressive state. I actually know more russians online than i’ve ever met here, so i have no educated opinion on their desire to segregate :-)

People who were born in USSR, quite often have this odd desire to return it back. I even had some experience to talk with 2 of such people when I come to Germany this year. I would say, that if they raised their kids with such mindset — then it continue to going on for longer.

But it is, probably, might be just the strong feeling of being alone or alien? Even if you learn language on very good level and be able to navigate new world — it still might feel alien. Of course, this new world might be better, but nostalgia is addictive sometimes, to the point of not being able to accept it fully.

Btw, you hate russians per se now? All russians i am in contact with have absolutely no problem with ukranians and despise the stupid war.

It might get long and ranty reply, so feel free to skip it, but it might get complicated.

In general, I do not hate them, but I am cautious. Even “despise the stupid war” might not mean the same thing for you versus Russian person.

In cases like that, I would like to ask WHEN RUSSIA started war against Ukraine. And the answer is, at the very least, is 2014 (although there were some “ringing balls” as early as 2003 year https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2003_Tuzla_Island_conflict or even earlier), when they annexed Crimea and parts of Donetsk and Luhansk regions.

Should I, also, mention, that in one of this regions was my hometown-birthtown? I had not seen it in 12 years, and never will again. And as bonus — Russia turned everything into shit that was good about this place.

If answer is not 2014, then it is very likely that person that you talking to — either supports it, or not considering it to be bad thing. And their against full-scale invasion only because they got their shit kicked by some subhuman “hohols”, their “little brothers”.

Or you could ask “To whom Crimea belongs to?”. Answers to that question can reveal many things about this person, sometimes, you would wish not knowing the answers.

As for my experience talking and being friends with them… It is also mixed bag. I remember being called “hohol” or having heard that Ukrainian is “Funny language” (without further explanation what does that even means) or “It is just dialect of Russian” too many times even before 2014 year.

Before 2022, I had been in active contact with 3 Russians, that I was friend with for some years.

One told me, that Ukraine is Nazis and that Russians are doing right thing. Also they told me that my home should be hit with “Kindzal” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kh-47M2_Kinzhal

Another one told me, that we (Ukrainians) are bombing ourselves, and as proof tried to bring videos from “Russia Today” channel, that was already banned from YouTube for Ukraine. Several years later, that friend tried to contact me, saying similar stupid things and trying “let’s not talk about this”. But I almost immediately cut that shit and sent them to fuck off.

Last one was just “I am apolitical” type of person.

I had more friends from there, but I lost contact with them way before, and I am not really want to find out that they either “zetnik” or “apolitical” or whatever. I am already not in the best state of my life.

So… Yeah… I do not really hate them (despite the fact that they are responsible for murdering my sibling and ruining my life; attempting to murder me. Seriously, it is so scare when something fall and explodes, even 20 kilometers away), but I am not exactly feeling very safe around them.

I can’t imagine at all. But I, personally, am really bad at language-learning, and especially bad with forced school-learning. I need my own place and pace.

Sadly, pace here is really fast.

I do not exactly understand when and how one should use “specific” and “whatever” Artikel. Like “das Auto” versus “ein Auto”. I asked teacher after lesson, so she could explain it better next time, and she told me, that she will prepare examples and stuff to learn the difference. But on a next day, she gave me sheet of paper, where she wrote rules and examples, and told me to learn by myself because we have no time to learn this in class. Every day is a new theme.

The funny part is, also, that is mostly my mistake, but I picked the school that does not even have holidays, lol. Expect like 7 days during new year, so I do not even have time to properly rest after all of this der-die-das-Partizip 2-ich-bin-nochmal madness, lol.

Totally. Like me suddenly living in Russia. The only thing I’d understand would be <insert the one slur everyone knows here>. Horrible. Already knowing english helps a ton! That’s the only things where latin helps me sometimes. Understanding other european language’s words sometimes.

Yeah, that is the only reason why I know enough words to say at least something.

Oh yes. They CAN give you anything, but they have to see a reason, like you, AND be in a good mood. Of course you have rights and could fight for it, but…not being native, that’s a lol. And even if, it might take years, and when the decision is made you might be already long gone or already german :)

I even had to witness this. So, you probably aware about the Tegel Berlin airport, that was reworked in… Maybe 2022 or earlier into refugee camp or temporary center before sending people to different states or haim.

This place, for a lack of better words, are shithole. I was living there for a good half a year, and I managed to lost health and my mental state.

But the funny thing is — some people were writing complains to that place, after which “mysteriously” got moved to different place much faster then expected, and, after they were already moved, they started getting mails like:

“Guten Tag We read your complaining, but after that we made check and found out that you do not live in Tegel anymore, so we can not do anything Thank you and good luck.”

already long

All things considering — it is sounds very grim, since being long gone is not yet out of picture :(

So you already did, lucky you. But that’s a mean thing to require. Being drafted means certain death :-(

Yep, this is essentially trap. I managed to move 2 week before it would had been too late for me, so decisions were made very quickly.

Fuck yes, never thought of that. Risk loosing one while not getting the other might end you stateless :-(

The worst part is that I, as refugee, or just in general, very much fucked here without passport. Even getting phone number here is tied to passport and mine visa (in my case, 24 paragraph). Or providing proof that I can legally stay in Germany. Proof which are glued into passport.

How often would you require to get a new one in UA? here it’s 10yrs or so.

I think my passport and ID should be okay up to 203x, but losing it seems to be more likely to happen, however. Or they could add a new law that will do something that will fuck up my life ¯_(ツ)_/¯

They already tried this with passport in ~2024 when they introduced that law, and 1 month before that law was supposed to get started — services refused to give out passports and other documents due to “error in the system”, which mysteriously had been fixed once law gain power. Cute :3

I doubt you’d want that…currently at least, guess the UA isn’t a shithole per se. And probably you don’t want to return to the rest of your home either :-(

If Russia never invaded — I doubt that there would had been that many reasons to move. European Union was very close, Euro integrations, changes here and there. But after 2014 it went into shit (especially for me). It started getting better again (better as in, it it quite good, considering you had ~13% of country just taken from you), but got fucked up in 2022.

I do not have much of my home left. Not much of my family left. No friends from there. No future (it was not like I had bright future even before 2014).

It is either become part of Europe (become German citizen, or other country) or fail miserably and return back, where I will, most likely, slowly fade away, but there would not be anyone to witness that.

How do you get a work-visa? when a company says “WE WANT THIS DUDE! LET HIM WORK HERE!”?

I can not say with 100%, but it is kind of close to this. As far I understand, you need to have certain level of official payment to apply work visa. So, for example, making 2000 or more Euro per month.

But, as far I understand, you can not simple start working in any MacDonalds and earn Visa. And if you will lose your job, you have 2 weeks to find a new one, or visa will be canceled.

And it is also important to not get yourself into job, where they can take advantage of you, knowing very well that you will lose job — you will lose visa. And as you said earlier — while you might be legally right — most likely you would not be able to do anything with that.

And there is already cases when Ukrainians are getting abused here in there, especially in payment amount and workplace safety.

When you are not citizen of a country and you want to achieve something — it is really hard.

I also want to chime in to say, that we love your presence here :>

AFAIK russian isn’t much different from ukranian, yes? Like czech+slovak or german+dutch

Well… Kind of, yes. General structure is similar, although words from Ukrainian can become quickly very alien to Russian. In that regard, Ukrainian will be more close to Polish or, funnily enough, to Deutsch. Turn out, we use quite a lot words from it, or, at the very least, words from same source.

Words like Farbe, Ziel, words with Blitz, and so on. Even some sentence structure was making sense there, but not in Russian.

But yes.

English is so much more simple.

Honestly, I really do enjoy English in many regards. Many things just not a thing there. (At least, not in modern English anyway). They do not even have different “you” anymore. Like, no “Sie” (as in “Groß person”, as our teacher loved to explain), no “du”, no “ihr”. (We also have this, but we have “combined” ‘Sie’ and ‘Ihr’ into same thing for the most part, “Ви”.), just you. And maybe added “You two/people” or “Your Highness” if you need to address them in different manner.

Or the fact that, while they do technically have grammatical gender, it almost never affect the grammatical part of language. Like, almost everything, that are not living person is “it”. Or it is living thing with known gender (dog is “it” unless specified if it is “she” or “he”).

And that is it.

It’s a funny word :)

It is funny for us (at least, I think so) because we use this word as “universal” word that can be used in many different situation, good or bad.

For example, you might be familiar with “suka” or “blyat” or “pisdez” or “ahuenno”. They fill similar niche. Or “fuck” in English.

Which makes it funny, since instead of forming an entire complex sentence to express your feeling about some situation… You say one word (which is also very short) and everyone understand you perfectly.

once wanted to learn russian, but already gave up at kyrillic

There are some useless letters, I would tell you that. Letters like “Ё”, which essentially sounds like “йо”, and only small amount of some words even use this letter. “Ёлка” (evergreen tree) or “Ёжик” (hedgehog), however many people white it as “Ежик” or “Елка” and they fine with that.

Or “ъ”. I present you with… “Hard symbol” (exist in Russian only). It is opposite or “ь” (exist in both Ukrainian and Russian), which is “soft symbol”, which supposed to make words sounds softer. It supposed to make word sound more… Uh, harder?

Hard as in you going on with you day, but then you hit some really hard rock with your leg on your way and fall.

“Объявление” (announcement, notice) — reads as “ob-(short, immediate pause)-iawlenie”.

Some might even consider “я” to be useless. It is almost never possible to properly latinize, and it sounds essentially as “йа”.

“Ы” — while not useless is… Just weird letter. It is impossible to latinize (as far I am aware — Latin does not have anything close to this letter) and it sounds like you are caveman who just saw easy pray and you started to scream to your fellow cavemans to signal that information to them.

But you, probably, referring to cursive writing and it is… Well, many letters written in very similar way.

There was this meme floating around, when someone lose their mind over learning Cyrillic and they wrote word “шиншилла”.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long-tailed_chinchilla

This is real thing, that many letters written in this very round way. Compared to Latin, where many letters very different to write.

And yet, it’s still very random :-) But a decent approximation i guess…

I would say that grammatical gender on itself is crap, but since we can not just throw it out overnight, might as well have some easy tool to easy the pain of using language.

Maybe there are but they all learned decent-ish german by now and hence you’d notice less obvious.

I would say, that many of them, in fact, never really learned German. Not because they can not, but because they do not see this as necessity. They just usually were living in their own “places” and not interacting much with locals. E.g. only visiting Russian speaking doctors, barbers, schools, works and befriending only their fellow ‘comrades’ who also speak Russian.

I think there was number of around 1 million Ukrainians in Germany as of now, so this places are overfilled, and so more people have to hang out with locals as result of that.

Ugh. Currently, considering all the brutal changes the stupid government introduces, i wouldn’t wonder :-(

Yep. I would say it might be especially harder in states where anti-immigration governments might win.

I think, as early as March of this east, Germany tried to cut free integration and language courses for people who want by themselves, but then later they kind of reversed this decision, but cut down available “slots” in half or more.

Nothing has changed for “” forced"" courses, however. For example, if your Jobcenter says that you must start going to courses until set Termin, then they pay for it. But even then, it is tricky system. They, usually, give you courses without problems if this is your first time, and only up to B1 level. If you would not be able to get B1, then they might refuse new courses application, and this is not that uncommon.

Typical language course in most schools consistent of 8 months. In this short timespan they cramp your brain up to B1 level, usually 3 hours a day, from Monday to Friday. And this is for German language. If it would had been English — sure, maybe 8 months is enough to get decent language skills. But German?

I am barely remembering correct articles, correct conjugations for verbs, “position zwei” or “eins”, numbers, audition, and we already doing Partizip 2, past form, and that is not to mention other stuff.

And that is me. My English knowledge helps me quite a lot, since rules there are quite similar. But mine colleagues who does not English as I do? They doing even worse.

And that not to mention that not everyone is… uh… Sharpest tool in a shed. Not everyone can look on a Tafel and be “oh, yeah, this is piece of cake”. I am certainly not.

So, I expect that I might not get B1. Not the first time, anyway.

For more then B2, you need to provide strong reason why you need this course. And if Jobcenter would not consider this to be a strong reason (or today’s berator was in bad mood), then you might get refusal.

So, you can stay if you are actively drafted in UA? or NOT drafted?

In my case, I am not affected. Everyone who want to get 24, starting from 9 October, they need to have proof that they “done their military duties”. However, they stopped accepting all man from getting 24 around in Juni of this year. I guess, they did not had proper law in place to refuse before. This is not required for people who got here BEFORE that time.

However, I am still affected (but this is less about Germany, but about Ukraine), because in case if, for example, I need to update passport (or I will lose it), or get new documents, or bank, then it will be a problem, since most of things things are only available inside country or, in case of getting documents, they want to make sure that you are not “in search” for mobilisation, and if you are, you can simply return back, do your things, and be back :) (Which means you will be trapped inside afterward).

Weird. So you’re not worthy of being german unless you just marry one? How logical :-)

Sadly, it works in a similar way almost everywhere :( It is just now I have essentially 2 ways. Either somehow get citizenship here, or return back where I will die.

When you asked and got protection in one EU country, others might refuse to do so, simply referring to “well, you already got protection, so get out”. Which is bad, because there is almost not countries in the world where you can freely be infinitely when you are Ukrainian. Most require valid visa. Only with EU we have 90 days visa-free access, and I already “spent” them, so if I ever going to lose my German 24 paragraph, without getting different one (like work visa, marrying, etc) — I will be refused to even enter any other EU country. Except, of course, for deportation or returning back on my own free will.

I did, not thumb but spoon, but in my case it seems to be psychological trauma that I got later in life, since I did not had it when I was 12 or so.

Ok, valued much it might not be,

hehe, I think I am starting to notice when people speak English when they are Deutsch speaker. Once there was case when person was writing all nouns with big letter, which is valid in Deutsch, but not English.

They don’t help ANYONE.

Yeah… At the very least, in my current Jobcenter they offer translators. But there was funny situation. They use Skype for voice and video, and one time they tried to call translator, and it did not worked, and she said “Skype ist kaputt”, which is funny way to say that something does not function.

Sounds stupid, but welcome to germany. We value rules, even if they make not much sense :-)

We actually have similar law, that officials, workers, etc should serve clients in Ukrainian, but if someone want to, then can ask to speak in Russian, which is not big deal.

Well, until 2022. Not because laws has changed, but because asking someone to speak Russian might be considering quite rude, if they speak Ukrainian.

Ich nicht :-)

The burocracy is definitely… Uh… Much worse here. In several months here I got more papers documents here, then I got in my entire life in Ukraine. And everything is very slow and confusing.

But in general? It is definitely much much better that I had in past. Which, probably, say more about my past, then about Germany, but eh. I do not have much choice now anyway, so it is either that or become bloody mushy puddle somewhere under Kramatorsk.

Huh, that is sound really worse then I initially though.

As for german, yeah i imagine it being superhard with all the der-die-das and shit. Native speakers often also struggle, so…

The thing is with German language is… How everything is… Not intuitive and relies on either remembering EVERYTHING or remembering bunch of weird rules that sometimes can help you. Like Tags are he, all times of day is he, except Nacht… It is she…

Like… Ukrainian or Russian is, probably, might be even more complex with all of their stupid concepts, especially punctuation with comas. Like, you could easily build quite simple sentence, and almost every word in it should be separated by comas, because there is reason to why.

For example, this languages are also gendered, so nouns also can be he, she, it, which also affects many parts of language. In fact, gender affects not only conjunctions and other related words, but even verbs!

So, for example, if you wanted to ask “Was hat du heute gemacht?”, you can say only that. You can say that to him, her, it. While in both Russian and Ukrainian it will be: “Що ти сьогодні робила?” — for her as you “Що ти сьогодні робив?” — for him as you “Що ти сьогодні робило?” — for it as you. It not used that much, but it exists.

But the thing is… It is more obvious and depends on one simple rule?

For example, to get gender of word you can add simple possessive article “mine”, and just listen, if it sounds natural or not.

“Мій яблуко” — Meinen Apfel — it is sounds wrong. “Моя яблуко” — Meine Apfel — this sounds Aldo wrong. “Моє яблуко” — Mein Apfel — this sounds correct.

You could, of course, do it in hard way and learn them one by one. Or do as in Deutsch, where you can learn that all Tags are he, -ung is always she, and so on. But this is very horrific way to do so, even if you are native speaker.

It is especially useful, since many words do not share same gender in Ukrainian and Russian, but the principle stays the same.

With this simple “test” you can quickly deduce gender of a word, even if you see it in the first time in your life.

And do not mention conjunction of an words… Articles in Deutsch and that is my biggest nemesis.

Couldn’t say why but your english grammar “sounded” russian or ukranian

Yep, this is typical for us. Probably, the biggest give away is that many of us forget about existence of articles. Since we do not have this concept — it is very unnatural to use them since we have hard time grasping when would we even need them, especially in something like English.

You could never use them, when talking to Ukraninan or Russian, and they will understand you perfectly, while English or German speaker will, most likely, start to lose mind.

Or they use so, god, damn, much comas.

but as you wouldn’t dare to move here as a russian

Well… There is quite high amount of Russians who are here, but it us mostly because they are kids of parents who moved to Germany when USSR stopped being a thing. At least, UT seems to be true for Berlin and, probably, some eastern States, like Brandenburg and so on.

Are you allowed to stay or is it just some temporary stuff?

It is temporary, until Germany might decide to stop extending 24 paragraph for Ukrainians. They already extended it up to 2028 couple days, but added new rule that you do not have right for 24 paragraph unless you have a proof that you do not have military “obligation” in Ukraine.

Which, practically speaking, means that you would not be able to escape at all. At least, not alive or with all limbs intact.

And really bad thing about this paragraph is that time, that you spent here, is not counted toward getting right for citizenship.

Currently, as far I remember, you need to live here at least 5 years to even be allowed to attempt try to become citizen. You can speak the most fluent C1 Deutsch, know everything about politics, history, but since you do not have required 5 years — you can not.

You need to switch to different paragraphs, like work visa, marrying citizen, and so on for days to start counting.

Hehe, danke. Do not be shy, if you ever will feel like giving up again.

Self-deprecating. It’s common to make humour at the expense of yourself. It’s really common for people with things like ADHD and other things. Ask me how I know. :)

I am undiagnosed (not at current moment anyway) and I am pretty sure ™ but I feel being called out, heh.

But you have self-worth. You deserve to live, you deserve happiness, you deserve basic comfort. We all do.

It seems that sometimes I forget about that…

It’s like “Oh no I’m on a diet and I made a bad decision to eat a candy bar, who cares now, I’ll eat ice cream” - one mistake or bad day doesn’t mean you have to have another. :)

It is something that I am very guilty of… I know that one mistake is not end of the world, but it does feel like one to me 🥲

As useless as I feel, I know I’ve made some people smile. And I know you have, too.

Well, you can add +1 to your smile count. Maybe it could help you feel less useless about yourself! I sure hope it does.

Ein Psychologe erlebt das Konzentrationslager

German language going to produce many dark times to me, heh. Especially articles. Hopefully, I will be able to overcome them, instead of them overcoming me.

I hope some of what I wrote made some kind of sense. These ideas, simple though they may be, have helped me get through life.

It does!

Good luck and I hope brighter days are just around the corner for you. Sounds like you deserve some grace from the world and I hope you get it.

This reminds me about one specific game over screen in Fallout 1 videogame https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Upbu3K1cwnI Second one in video, where narrator says: “The darkness of the afterlife is all that awaits you now. May you found more peace in that world, than you found in this one.”

It is very comforting to me, and at same time — makes me shiver in fear.

And vielen dank :)

My struggles are different from yours: Seven heart attacks, a saddle pulmonary embolism, below-knee amputation, kidney failure so I am on dialysis. Just the barest touch so I don’t waste your time with a novel. :)

My ex friend once experienced heart attack when he was in a store. I was somewhere else, so I did not had chance to see it or do anything about. That is just awful, awful. Horrible. It should not happened to you or anyone else :(

So you do want to try and work towards bettering your future, just don’t waste all your time fantasizing about what might happen or what you might want. Plan, yes. Work toward, yes. But do not lose sight of today.

Mh… I might be guilty of that… A lot.

Try to find the joy in little things, in everyday things. One of the things I like to do is try to make people laugh, if I can

I actually also joke a lot like that, people even laughing. Except one time when someone told that my jokes are very… self hurting? Like I might say too many bad things about myself that becomes punchlines. I sometimes think, that I might need to stop joking, because I am not great at reading room…

I’m 51, and with my health issues, I probably won’t live to see 60

I would say, that you are sounds like person who will outlive me 😎

Acknowledge the bad, but also try to acknowledge the good: Do you have food? Shelter?

Yeah, but bad things always manage to outshine good things :(

It’s hard. And everyone is different. I’ve just tried to explain how I try to look at life, and I hope some of that might help you. I apologize for the bits that are unhelpful and annoying. But I hope things get better for you

Mh… Yeah, things that are out of my control, I can not do much about them, I should just focus on what I can do.

But life are really cruel like that, sometimes even cartoonishly cruel.

But I do enjoyed reading about your perspective on life.

But it is going to take so much of me to accept this, so it would not going to be fast

I hope you don’t give up.

Huh. Maybe I would not and you all will hear again about me but as famous rock star 😎

Thank you

Ukrainian?

Yeah, for better or worse.

it’s much relief to you.

Sadly. But if it makes them feel at least slightly relieved, then maybe it was at least worth it, after all.

But thanks for reading.

I’m homeless because the US is… a mess and my family is the opposite of helpful.

At the very least, I have place to live. I could not imagine what it is to be like when you do not have safety where you can just be and be yourself without being observed…

I do post occasionally. There’s a couple posts on my old lemmy account, a few on my old reddit, and many more on my old instagram.

I should then check them out. Thanks.

Drawing is a good option. I’ve always struggled with it personally, but I am trying again recently.

I found out myself that using some specific type of paint and paper (or digital instead) could make it easier to enjoy drawing. I am not big fan of pencils, or watercolors, or office papers, but Gouache and watercolor paper (I think they have 2 types of them: “cold pressed” and “hit pressed”, which affects texture and how paint interacts with paper) to be more enjoyable.

I imagine your spoken english is similar although it’s probably slow

It is more to remember words, because there so many. And how to pronounce them. I have defects which prevents me to say certain letters (like “r”) and my accent is sehr strong. If you ever heard how Slav people speak — you probably know how it sounds.

Obviously I don’t know your language, but the phrase you’ve given seems to have a dual meaning

You are not the first person who say that to me… It is Ukrainian and Russian, where phrases like that is… Well, normal. We have many of them.

For example, there is this great saying “спасение утопающих - дело рук самих утопающих” which translates to “saving the drowning people — is in their own hands”, meaning that if you can not help yourself — nobody will.

On one hand it seems to express a kinda of hopeless futility, but it also reads to me in a more positive way too. If ever said “I can’t breathe enough before I die” I would only say that to express that there’s so much I want to do and so little time to do it.

That is interesting perspective, because it used mostly as “hopeless” and also as “stop enjoying this, you would not be able to satisfy yourself enough anyway”. It is can be told to person who trying to avoid something inevitable, trying to enjoy what is good left for them. E.g. "

• hey, wake up. It is 7:00, time prepare to go to work.
• Give me 5 more minutes.
• You would not be able to breath enough air before you die anyway, so GET UP now!" " It sounds very bothered in my translation, but it makes sense in original.

I had to go through a seriously dark period to get to this mindset, but I did get through it. I wasn’t hopeful or optimistic while I was dealing with it, but I kept going anyway.

You seems to be strong, which do makes me more inspired.

First: sorry man. That all sucks hard

Danke :)

Depending on where you wanna go, your English is already fine, so you would have no trouble in most European countries, as most of us speak it. The rest will come.

I am in Germany. It seems Englisch is not something that is valued in any official place:( The Jobcenter is, probably, the worst of them all, when it comes to helping people who are not speaking Deutsch yet.

I once was trying to help my friend with first Termin in their Jobcenter, since they do not speak neither English nor Deutsch. Their Berator had good Englisch (at least by my standards) but she refused to drop her Deutsch for solid 10 minutes, even despite the fact they we did not understand 90 % of her words. Seems to be systematic issue :(

So it is either that or only learn this language, which appears to be quite the task… Aber ich liebe Deutschland.

Like, get help! Professional and maybe some support-group.

But I do not know where to find one, given my limited language knowledge (And while I speak 3 Sprache, neither of them is that valued here)…

That and just getting increasingly exhausted, especially Sprachkurs. Your language seems to be really complex and nuanced :(

I work voluntarily in a shelter for people who got fucked by life. Mostly by other people. I have heard my fair share of lifes going down the drain seemingly. But most actually do manage to live comfortably. With help.

Could you tell me more?

One universal help is: radical acceptance. Basically means: You cannot change some things, so dont waste your time worrying about them. Focus on what you CAN change and try to do it. Sounds simple, but isn’t.

Huh… You are the second person to tell me that. Or drei? Maybe i just never learned how to just… Accept things :( Being unable to fix something is scary…

Out of curiosity… Ukrainian?

Yep. For better or worse, but that who am I. Ich komme aus der Ukraine.

Hard to give better tips, not even knowing where you are right now and what your realistic options are.

Currently staying in Deutschland thanks to Paragraph 24, which, as far I understand, was extended today for Ukrainians.

And thank you… Vier? For replying and reading all of that. Vielen dank

At a certain point, it all gets to be pretty absurd how bad things can get, and so quickly!

:( I suppose I learned about it in a very painful and hard way. Not sure what conclusion to make :(

Once you embrace the absurdity and realize how very cruel life can be, you can sleep like a baby.

That is interesting view. I think my sibling shared similar views. But maybe you are right. Even if I do not really want to accept that.

Thank you three for taking time to read and answer.

I wish. I really do :(

I think, that in my case it is trauma that made itself appear later in life. Because it was never an issue when I was younger. Even dentist tried to say the same to me.

Gag reflexes are bitch. Not sure if beating them is even possible anymore.

I’m homeless right now

:( that is really awful to hear. What happened?

My outlet is my photography, I’d lose my mind without it

Hm… In past (in past as in a life that I lost forever), I wanted learn to draw. Picture that is my avatar is made by me. Not sure if it is considered to be good or bad, but I am somewhat proud of it.

Do you post your photos somewhere? I got curious about them. I also like to photographire stuff, but I am not 100% sure shy.

If you can get that help, then it’s worth pursuing.

I am thinking about it, but language barrier seems to not make it easy :(

Your life isn’t ruined. You can rebuild and find stability. You just have to keep going and never give up.

But what if trying to not give up just prolongs the inevitable? What if I could just accept it :(

In my native Sprache we have this saying “перед смертью не надышишься”, which translates roughly to “you can’t breath (air) enough (meaning, breath enough air until you are satisfied) before you die”.

And thank you too for taking your time to reply.

Probably try to find a group of people with similar backgrounds, or at least a therapist or priest or bartender to talk to

I wish but language barrier is really hitting hard :( English would not cut it. Which is very tragic, because that is one of not many things in life that I can deal with and have interest about.

I will add that when you are young it feels like you don’t have much time, but the fact is you do.

I wish, but ability to stay in other country is not right — it is an privilege :(

And unless I will be able to work this out — I would not be able to stay, being forced to get back, to… Nothing :( there not much left to return to.

Probably work look for the uplifting ones.

Maybe I should try. But I do not know, if that going to help. I am already find myself ignoring real world too much, because it is not the best place :(

Man’s Search For Meaning is a pretty rough but good read

Is it in English?

And thank you, very much for taking time to reply, I appreciate it.

Yep, it’s good.

Just make sure to regularly do backups (in settings), and prefer to store them in secured places, ideally, password protect them with encryption (e.g. zip).

And if you have ideas or bugs, then you can check their GitHub page (https://github.com/mona-hrt/mona) to make new issue. Or if you can’t (I think they have discord thing?) do so via GitHub, then ask someone who can.

Are you doing good?