I’m in my early 30s, so not necessarily “mid-life”, but I think what I have been experiencing can be described this way. I went through a lot this past year, and it has both left some large scars as well as healed some other aspects and caused new ways of thinking in others. I’ve tried new things and enjoyed the things that I’ve tried.
But I feel like I need something “more”, but I have no idea what that is. I keep getting caught on the horrifying realization of life being fleeting and I want to do something to make it more whole. But I can’t outrun death so I don’t know that anything is left to be done. But I feel like I need something to fill that space. I may in fact be chasing something that doesn’t exist idk.
I guess I just feel a bit lost and would appreciate some direction.
More about me that may or may not influence your advice: I’ve always been a loner and the sort of “terminally online” type. I don’t experience sexual attraction, so it sort of puts most options of relationships out the window. Asexual “dating” is not as prevalent or simple as you’d think. My career is very solid and I’m paid very well, so I’m not interested in switching careers. My career was a huge source of my trauma this past year, but I have made a lot of progress since and it’s really not something I can easily change. I have discovered new and healthier forms of self-expression and have done new things. I own where I live and would not be able to sell it for as much as I paid for it either, which is another reason I’d be against moving. I am physically close-ish to family and visit every couple of weeks.
Thanks all for listening.
It’s good you recognize thr parts of your life you are satisfied with.
As far as my own experience goes I had a good union engineering job, but woke up every day feeling like I was wasting my life. So I saved up, quit my job and sold most of my stuff, bought a truck and trailer and traveled for the better parts of two years. I stayed off the grid and lived very simply, enjoyed hiking and being outdoors, and did a lot of reading. I ended up moving in with family when I ran out of money and found a real passion volunteering at an animal shelter. A full time position opened up at the shelter and I applied and got the job. I don’t even miss the money or comfort of my own place at this point. I’ve also rediscovered a love for a few hobbies I had as a teenager and have the energy to pursue them now that I’m not working a job that’s mentally draining me
That’s such an amazing journey! Thank you so much for sharing!
One of my online friends decided she was done with regular life and managed to go off grid herself. I’m a bit of a wuss in need of more modern conveniences lolol.
For the period of time I was on FMLA, I did contemplate quitting my job and trying to get one full time at the food pantry, honestly. Working for the community like that has its own sense of fulfillment, so I’m glad you found yours at the animal shelter.
Sounds like the food pantry was a passion for you, and while it’s tough with a lot of volunteer opportunities being business hours you could always do some anarchy food distribution on the weekends. Give out jars of peanut butter and loaves of bread to the homeless in your area. Organizations make it nice and simple but there’s nothing (maybe laws but fuck those laws) saying you can’t do it on your own. Good luck on your search for meaning, I hope you find what your looking for from life