I think you need both, like you said, if you are not kind and patient with them they may rebel against you and what you tell them, but at the same time they would benefit from a solid Theoretical Foundation, make fewer unnecessary mistake, spend less time re-inventing the wheel.

It is kind of like the Dialectic between Theory and Practice, where as you need Practice to develop correct Theory, you need correct Theory to engage in higher quality Practice, which can also enable the development of more advanced Theory, leading to more advanced Practice, point is they need to be put together, and I think raising a child correctly is the same way, they need love and support, but also to learn the important things that school is setup to teach the opposite of.