Yeah, I spell the Jakar weird cause reasons lol. And ACCENTMAN just, well, HES THE ONLY ONE WITH THAT ACCENT!?!? Those two are amazing, I can't wait to see where everything goes!!
Babylon 5, or at least season 1, can be watched truly for free on tankie tube. Me and another user have been watching it on blorp in the evenings sometimes, its really good show!
Gentoo, or LFS. It'll break often, so it gives you something to focus on to distract from everything. Why have feelings when you can spend 8 hours fixing a broken system? (I definitely am not speaking from experience
I dont want "masculine" thigh highs. I want them to femme/cute/girly as fuck. Guys can wear them, ofc, but I want that article of clothing to remain girl-coded. No compromise, make the men embrace their femininity.
Sooo we didnt talk, it was a group of us and that's a one on one convo. She invited me over for more movies and cuddles this weekend, and I'm gonna try to talk to her before then, but im like in my dysphoria hole right now until friday and I can't have that convo until after then. So this weekend.
spoiler rambly angsty shit
She just left, she and $friend came over as a brak from some procedural lifeshit their taking care of, and she like came over and sat down in my lap and was talking and scratching my hair and being all close and cuddly, and talking about our friend who she had a crush on and then dated and now doesn't want to be around, and then saying in a questioning tone that maybe she's not entirely over them, and being real clear with herself and me and $friend that she doesn't really want to be in this persons life. And then she and $friend leave to go do some practical procedural stuff, and she's waving to me all cute like as she's leaving, and goddamn I have no idea what to make of her behavior towards me. I gotta talk to her, I hate being weird and awkward around my friends
cause when I'm confused I dont interact well, and I'm like not smitten-smitten but a bit smitten. Ugh I wish we had had time earlier goddammit instead I gotta waiiiiittttt ugh.
I mean, I'm not opposed to showering with friends... Like, idk there's a difference between physical affection because enjoy company, physical affection because of being passively into someone, and physical affection because of being actively into someone yk? I had figured, based on the inconsistencies of her interactions with me, that she was in the first area...
Yeah, I'm very happy with the friendship and dont want it to become estranged. I was gonna try to talk yesterday but it didn't work out, but my schedule lines up for Saturday. I've figured out what I want to say, and how to say it. I'm pretty sure it'll go one way, but ya never know
Are interactions like this typically seen as platonic for you and your friends? /gen
Uncertain tbh. I'm ok doing this in a platonic way with some people, others not so much. I'm not sure how others approach these things tho. I'm pretty incompetent when it comes to reading people, especially in this area of things (I'm an autistic trans lesbian bottom, I dont stand a chance lol). like, with a different friend a while back, it wasn't until she shoved me up against the wall of the shower while we were showering together and kissed me that it clicked for me that she was interested in me, and then the prior behavior made a different sense, like "oh that's why you asked if I wanted to snuggle and watch a movie, that's why you asked if I wanted to sleep in the dog bed together", etc.
I 100% agree about being up front. I already talked with her about one of the ways she was touching me being pretty arousing, and that it wasn't bad it was enjoyable, but that she should know that if she's gonna touch me in that way. And if feelings develop, I'll want to talk to her about them, even with the anxiety.
I get the vibe she does this with others as well, but like, I'm not going around asking our mutual friends¹ "hey when you two sleep together² do y'all do x/y/z?". Like our mutual friend $friend has stayed over at hers a couple nights, and she's made it clear that she doesn't want that sexual/romantic area of things with $friend. So like, I dont know, but it would seem to me likely that she does I guess? Idk, reading the responses here has me second guessing my interpretation of things tbhtbh
¹ we have a couple mutual friends, but only one that I know of has slept over at hers.
² literally sleep together, not figuratively as in sex.
if its ok to ask, maybe put a tag in the title for ableist language? (Schizo used (to my reading at least) durogatorily in a quote in the post body)