I second this! Even if you study game dev at college (if that's an option for you), you won't get around that part in the end. Picking your tools and iteratively learning how to use them is the way to go. The Internet is full of tutorials.
At best set yourself achievable goals (like cloning simple games) and keep your expectations low. Don't try to do too many things at once and take your time learning.
I second that. Many jams are meant to have participants team up. There's nothing to win, so you can use it as a learning opportunity and let more experienced participants teach you a bit.
Global Game Jam might be the best bet here, as the site organizers often offer workshops in preparation for newbies. Unfortunately the last one was just a few weeks ago, so you would have to wait for almost a year for the next.
If there's people I care about but hardly stay in touch with, they usually get my annual greetings over the holidays. During Christmas or New Year's I go through my contacts and just pass along wishes to everyone I care about. Often they answer and use the chance to catch up about the year. It served me well. Maybe using such an annual opportunity helps you, too.
Neurodivergence?