Teach a man to cook fentanyl, and he’ll be high for the rest of his life.

Give a man a very small amount of fentanyl and he’ll, ummm, still be high for the rest of his life, I guess.

Donate to their GoFishMe.

Verdana all the things!

At least she didn’t take them down to the gravel pit.

ViewSonic’s logo:

(I think they’re actually a different kind of bird but hopefully close enough for the joke to work. I just always think of the ViewSonic logo every time I see any bright multicolored tropical-looking bird.)

This is how ViewSonic monitors are born.

—Ea Nasir, probably.

It’s Matt!

It.

I’m nowhere near Massachusetts but I am a huge fan of breakfast food so I applaud your efforts.

Oh no, wherever will middle school girls be able to try out shoplifting now?

No real naming scheme, mostly just stupid names because they’re funny, though a couple names have been roughly related to the car to which they belonged.

• Pobjoy
• Probably Jessie (yes, “probably” is part of the name)
• Probably Jenny
• My Boy Blue
• Winona
• Jules

Worse yet, Wingate eventually replaced the errors-riddled order with a corrected version — which still cites a 1974 that doesn’t appear to exist, according to Mississippi Today.

Wait, how long have we been in the worst timeline if 1974 doesn’t even exist?!

69 cousins! How nice.

How do you pronounce that letter? There’s a Danish band I’ve been getting into lately, MØL, but I don’t know how to say it. I’ve been saying “mole” in my head, but I doubt that’s right. It seems to get romanized as “oe” so would it be pronounced “mo-el”?

That was really their name?!

You’re listening to 107.5 The Hoovas! (Gun cocking sound) The tri-state area’s number one source (n-n-number one s-s-s-ource) for all the best classic rock! With Johnny Gonads and Kelly Smokeytits in the morning! Weather (thunder clap) on the fives and traffic (tire screech) on the sevens!

Thanks for the context, didn’t know that was a thing. That makes more sense.

I call bullshit, no level 1 starts with that much money. It’s more like you can afford either the pants or the chest piece but not both. Or both, but then you can’t afford the sword. And hope you find and steal whichever one you gave up here pretty quick, it’ll be better than nothing.

Birds found in the bottom half of Earth may not be present in the top half of Earth. Got it.

Addiction, yes, that’s well documented. But what’s this about being a known sex pest?

I’m not saying you’re wrong, he’s got lots of money and has authored a few wonky sex scenes in his books throughout the years (obviously up to and including the kids at the end of IT), so it’s certainly possible.

But I’ve never seen his name come up in any real life stories about this. Just got a few pages down into a DDG search for “Stephen king accused” and found nothing. There was a “top 12 Stephen king controversies” article that made no mention of any sexual allegations outside of the IT scene and him apparently arguing against the cancellation of a Woody Allen biography on censorship grounds.

Do you have any sources for your “known sex pest” claim?