Sam Hyde announces presidential bid (2026, colorized)

Libs be like “maybe they like this headline because of his beard. I can’t quite figure it out…”

So when does Gabby find the sword of 1000 Marxists, go super Lenin, and defeat him with the power of solidarity? The history of all hitherto existing society is almost taking as long as fucking One Piece

Lentils are an inherently masculine food, tempeh is NB, and tofu is inherently feminine. Mushrooms are obviously queer

Fuck that. I’ll fuck it up for 3

I’ve been to America and there’s so many fucking places that just have such better food for a much smaller price point.

Frankly, short of trying to get the highest quality shit (and before going for weird ass foams and art pieces) you’re getting mogged in taste and quality. You could get the same portion for less, but you can also walk out of the restaurant without feeling awful.

Of all the things that America doesn’t do well, food is high up on that list because it’s so visceral and so obvious to me.

That’s how the revolution started because it was all casinos and mafiosos. It was cringe and it sucked.

Looking like a big company where the person you report to has many people under them/multiple teams and meeting all the goals they set for themselves looks stable on paper. You take those numbers to someone looking to invest and you puff up your chest about the expected growth and they’re the ones who give you the money. The company is predictable and modestly upward and that’s enough for someone who’s rich because their great grandparents confiscated a lot of gold in Germany in the preamble to WW2

Or “internalized HR”

Impound control after Major Bomb

Bit idea: calling racism the HR of categorizing people

Also, this seems much less effectual than accelerating to the end game. You want “purple” states? Run successful coaches from professional sports team. You want to recreate Trump magic? Get the general manager of the Patriots with a D next to their name and call it a day

Oh yeah! That was awesome. What happened? Did someone abuse it?

BerlinIsStartingLine1917! is the communal password. Obviously

“But what if you liked good things?”

I ask into an infinite void of nothingness as if the person across from me has Gojo’s domain expansion activated

Do insiders even get a bunch of money by shorting random bullshit? Like they’re really just making money on fucking Robinhood and whatever bank that mortals use? Seems like there’s more money to be made in gambling on health insurance CDOs or something. Insider options trading seems a bit pedestrian.

moral arc of the universe bends in a horse shoe actually

I figured that was the beauty of the panel. It tells you nothing about the story or who this person is. The new information is that there is mortal danger and an asshole further along in the story. That’s like saying there are going to be pastries in the Great British Bakeoff. You could have told me that in episode 2