RedSeries (she/her)

I’ve always envied the bodies and mannerisms of women. I present as a woman online. I practice a feminine voice in the car. I take on feminine posture behind locked doors. I browse Amazon for cute clothes but never buy them. All in all I’m just playing pretend.

Are you doing all of that, in private, for yourself? If so it’s not pretending at being a woman, it’s practice. If anything you’re desperately trying to stop pretending at being a man. Just because you’ve:

• Been socialized to be a man
• Dealt with institutions that reinforce that
• Had others force male gender on you
• Had to fight puberty

Does not mean you are a man. It means you’ve been socialized and conditioned as one and you’re desperate to be yourself.

As for timing, it is never too late. Age will provide more barriers to deal with, but it will get better if you decide to transition. I started at 33. I know people that started in their 40’s and a few older than that. When you are safe to try and transition, it’s there for you.

People transition on Medicare without jobs. I promise you can at least look at estrogen or what is available through health insurance if you have any. If you’re feeling particularly motivated and willing to deal with the fallout of leaving: see if you can talk to orgs like Rainbow Railroad to land somewhere that will actually give you care, like Seattle, Minneapolis, Chicago, California, Illinois, etc.

I know people have come out to some very hateful people. But I cannot stress enough how much I would become an absolute pariah if I did. How much hate would be aimed in my direction. Maybe the capability really is in me, and I’m just a coward.

This is why people say transition is brave. We are literally radicals when it comes to our identity. We truly hurt ourselves when we’re hiding it, so the pain of ostracization feels like nothing compared to that.

And what if my dysphoria is worse after the fact. What if all I’ll ever see in a man in a dress?

And what if your dysphoria is better and you get to see the woman you are? I can’t promise you’ll be a bombshell, but I can say that looking the part, even if it’s flawed, helps so so much with dysphoria. If you can get reaffirmation, even if it’s from medical staff or support groups, it will also sincerely help you a lot.

All of what you are feeling is valid as fuck. Many of us have thoughts like this and you’ll always have places like this to turn to for support. The brave thing, the thing that will help you, is not giving up. Even when it’s scary and others think it’s wrong. We don’t hurt anyone when we transition. We only hurt ourselves when we don’t.

deleted by creator

haha body shaming amirite?

insert “I’m in this photo and I don’t like it” meme

I’ve both had my mind changed and had others change their mind when talking online, but I don’t think it’s the norm if I’m being honest. Most people don’t seem to enjoy having their views challenged and someone feeling defensive will very rarely approach discussion with an open mind. I say this as someone who gets defensive and struggles at times with this very thing. We’re all flawed. 🙃

Separating the art from the artist is usually meant for academic settings when discussing works from people who were flawed (I’m using very mild language) or who we see through a modern lens as problematic. It’s how we can talk about the themes and IP that Lovecraft created despite him being a truly garbage human being in his life.

I think we have collectively co-opted the phrase to try and engage with entertainment we like when the artist is problematic. I think that’s generally okay if the artist is no longer alive or does not own the IP anymore.

If an artist is alive and actively a shitty person, then it’s not really possible to separate their art from them in my opinion (again, non-academically). Doing so can give money, clout, or other forms of power to further enable them. That’s why we’ve been seeing “cancel culture” grow, because boycotting is one of the few ways to limit an artist’s reach if they are using their art or status to hurt people.

As an aside, depending on the artist’s actions or reputation, it is genuinely seen as suspect to engage with their art outside of academia even if they are dead. This can be especially true if the art itself espouses dangerous or very hurtful ideas. A common example is stuff like Mein Kampf, which has been studied academically/historically in order to understand it. I think anyone would be wary of someone saying they are a fan of it though.

What an infuriating read, dancing around saying “I’m not saying trans women should be kept out of sports” while simultaneously hammering home just how inferior women seem to be to men when we look at the highest levels of sport.

Are men inherently smarter (chess), more coordinated (darts), more elegant (ice skating), and more agile (gymnastics)? Is it the penis, the testosterone, or some amount of time that makes these things inherent? Do women with PCOS have to start competing with men? Is it how estrogenized someone is, and if so how much is enough and for how long?

Is all of that worth telling trans girls they can’t play with their friends? Is all of that worth telling women that men really are the superior gender?

Protection is one thing but comparing what men can do with incredible investment and support structures compared to what most women’s sports get is disingenuous at best. This argument is never in good faith. We tried this segregation shit with race before I was born and it’s as shit of an argument now as it was then.

EDIT: Their entire post is side-eyeing speed records and going “I’m not saying anything buuuut”. If you can’t understand why I’m frustrated reading it as a trans woman then just block me and move the fuck on. It’s bait made to get people to think it’s reasonable to assume that women are not as athletic as men in a post about trans women being excluded from sports with their peers. And all of that side-eyeing implies there’s a “man advantage” that women need to be protected from. In context, you can understand what the commenter’s heavily implied suggestion is.

If that didn’t clarify where I stand: If we’re going to have gendered sports, trans people belong with their gender. Full stop. Casually gesturing at gendered professional records as a gotcha or moderate position still implies that you see trans women like me as men.

Seeing sweet posts like this brightens my day. Thank you Maria~!

Goddamnit. You can’t win support when you blanket a group of people saying part of their identity is supporting evil. Like, this is QUITE LITERALLY what human rights activists fight against. Don’t use your hurt to villify those who COULD understand you.

I’m not going to be nice to you here. I’m vilified for existing. You feel like you’re being vilified because you can’t let a children’s fantasy franchise go.

Guess how much Ive spent on Harry Potter stuff since I was a kid? $0. Guess how much I plan to spend? $0.

Maybe you got the books twenty years ago, but you are shilling them and sharing them today. Joanne is alive and while she still has clout and makes money from that IP she directly spends gobs of both on anti-trans hate groups and legislation. Put the book away and move on.

Once her corpse is interred in the dirt and her IP no longer funds our fucking eradication, then feel free to bust this victim-blaming whinefest out about your nostalgia and read your children the shitty transphobic wizard childrens books.

This isn’t hard people.

God I wish this wasn’t hard. Nostalgia is my generation’s lead paint istg

No, I want the franchise to wither and fucking die already. This is as gross to me as a suggestion for trans pornfic of “Elonia Musk”.

No, just… no.

Do you think the Winchesters have enough clout to make the paranormal shit themselves at their mention at this point? I like to imagine that’s how it might go

“7 days…”

“Hi this is Dean Winchester and-”

“FUCK FORGET I CALLED LOSE THIS NUMBER MY BAD click”

Yeah this looks like the West Springfield donut dip, a small chain out in western MA.

Really fucking weird seeing it randomly on the Internet lol

I just want to confirm, as someone from MA, that this person is absolutely right. New Hampshire is the armpit of New England. You could not pick a worse state up here to live in.

Sounds like Junior Senior - Move Your Feet: https://youtu.be/SPlQpGeTbIE

I cry so hard every time I listen to Casimir Pulaski Day, what a beautiful and sad song.

I wouldn’t label the Witcher remaster that way personally. CDPR is doing that remaster for free and it’s essentially promotion for the sequel.

That’s under ~$7k/yr per kid for their gender affirming care and related appointments. That sounds reasonable given the cost of healthcare I’ve encountered in the US. What point are you making?

I’m just so exhausted. We can’t seem to talk about gender or sex without the default thought process going “politics” or “troll”. Trans existence is taboo.

EDIT: Salamander explained they were very busy and this is an honest mistake. I appreciate them and what they do and I do not think they did anything malicious whatsoever. They have apologized.

I do think my point still stands though: the topic of sex or transgender people seems to make knee-jerk reactions much more common and I wish that were not the case. It’s also a really common trolling tactic to post malicious links to espouse really shitty views under the guise of “learning”. I empathize with the very real fact that many posts about those topics are designed to skirt along that “just asking questions” line of trolling, so this kind of moderating is really hard to do right.

“Unpopular Delusion”