Nefara

Everything is interesting and something worth exploring and trying, as long as it prevents me from having to do the thing I don't want to do

You're already over my head and I'm envious 😂

Lol I doubt that, I just literally never pass up the chance to say gouache, because it's funny (sounds like gwash, or gowash.... goowash) but I also liked how it was more opaque than normal watercolors so it helped hide all my extra sketch lines.

But yes, something I discovered was that the color you thought something was in your head was never the color something actually is due to lighting and atmospheric conditions so if you're trying to paint something at all representational and even vaguely realistic there's a whole new dimension to mess up in. Making a 3d thing 2d is surprisingly hard for our brains because we keep wanting to replace what we see with "symbols" of the thing.

I think I've tried watercolor pencils? If I did it was only once. I think the experience is like coloring with the pencil, then brushing over it with water to smooth out the scribbles so you get that soft watercolor look. I seem to remember I used the wrong paper so the amount of water I was able to use resulted in the scribbles just getting blurry so I guess if you try them then make sure your paper can handle a good soak, lol.

I met a person who did these neat Zentangle designs, maybe something like that could be a way to enjoy the medium without the pressure of representationalism?

I used to draw constantly in school as a way of fidgeting and helping myself focus, so I got fairly decent at drawing at the time. I tried painting with water colors and more specifically gouache back then because I liked the idea of adding color to my drawings in a more "grown up" way than colored pencils or markers, but the experience and novelty of it wasn't enough to push me past the mediocrity of my results

Do you still paint with watercolors? What's your favorite subject or style? Did you ever paint something you were happy with?

We were lucky enough to have a bloom by our house and I cleaned them, cut them and pan fried them with butter. Truly delicious, intense chickeny flavor and great texture. Would actually prefer to eat them over chicken, but they are so hard to cultivate and very unpredictable as to when to find them.

Sounds like a job for a trailer

It sounds to me like you might have trouble communicating what you need and the behavior you expect from others. There probably needs to be some work done on establishing boundaries and what constitutes healthy relationships before working on the DBT stuff. I don't think you can fully blame the therapists, because you probably have been going to them and saying "I have trouble with emotional regulation" but not giving the greater context of "people keep transgressing my boundaries and it's driving me more and more crazy"

Because yes, the only thing we have control over is ourselves and the actions we take, but you absolutely do not have to tolerate being treated poorly. It sounds like you need some tools in your tool box for healthy communication, because we teach others how to treat us. Learning how to assert your needs, your space and "rules of engagement" and then sticking to them is a whole other thing than emotional dysregulation.

I picked up a steel tongue drum out of pure serendipity and I can't keep my hands off of it. The good quality ones that are hand tuned by an artisan and crafted from the highest quality steel will sound good no matter how you hit it. I started just bopping random notes with mallets, then tapping patterns with my hands, and whatever I do it sounds great and feels zen and beautiful. I don't really play any songs on it, just patterns, but it's like the audio version of a warm bubble bath.

There are mass market dinky derpy ones off of Amazon and they're completely different instruments. If it sounds like a gong or a bell it's a cheap one. If it sounds like the ethereal thrumming of the deep forest magic it's a good one.

https://imginn.com/p/DIynnGEI680/

I've posted this a few times but here it is again for you:

I have managed to nearly eliminate Amazon entirely from our lives for the past two years. I usually find things by searching what I want to buy on DuckDuckGo and then adding "-amazon", "-etsy", "-walmart", "-temu" and "-pinterest" as search modifiers.

A lot of little shops are perfectly legit, but watch out for:

Things being ridiculous bargains. Small shops will almost always be more expensive due to higher overheads and less bulk

Too much variety in product (unless they're a marketplace with 3rd party vendors). A legit shop will have inventory that makes sense together in its theme. If they sell everything from bubblebath to uranium they're either probably not actually selling it or drop shipping it.

Pictures that look like they come from lots of different sources, or no consistency in images. If they don't have their own pictures of products or standards of presentation that's suspicious

Some general recs that apply if you're in the US:

For anything electronic or computer related: B&H Photo or Microcenter

For music stuff: Sweetwater, but there's a lot of great small music stores, or you can use a marketplace like Reverb

For clothes: if you have any clothes you already enjoy, go directly to their brand website. If you don't, go to local secondhand shops and touch, handle and try on some clothes to see them in person. I've discovered some brands I like by finding something in a thrift store that was well made but not my size or preferred color.

For house repair and DIY stuff: we order from a local building supply store, but there's also hardwareandtools.com, 1stoplighting, Waysource, Lightbulbs.com, Timothy's Toolbox etc.

For food items, local grocery stores often offer online shopping and delivery. If it's a specialty item or imported the import companies sometimes have their own websites.

For cosmetics, skin care and some home cleaning things, there's Hive or Grove Collaborative which try to prioritize sustainability

For tea, coffee and spices, Adagio and its sister websites

For that "everything store" experience, Costco will ship a good percentage of its offerings for free with a membership in the continental US.

For something hard to find you can't find another site for, try Ebay.

I do business with all sorts of independent retailers and have only had good experiences with them. These are sites that I've personally bought from but there are a lot of smaller sites just trying to make a place for themselves on the internet

I've started noticing birds, and worse, I've started recognizing them.

My favorite MMO is Guild Wars 2. While it certainly has grind available, it doesn't require it to play the content. It genuinely respects your time and understands people have lives outside of gaming, and tries to give a lot of options for ways to progress so you can focus on content you enjoy. There's a lot of communities, guilds and activities to do with others. You can join 5 guilds at once, if for instance you wanted to join a group of friends, a big guild that does events together, another one that does raids, another based on your identity or location etc.

It kind of throws you into the deep end when you start, and suffers from layers upon layers of developed complexity thanks to add-ons and content updates over the years, but for a certain type of person it will really click. It's free to try so you might as well see if you like it.

I'm a different flavor of neurospicy, but I had an extremely positive experience with a therapist who specialized in it. I think it's important for a therapist to have an understanding of your mindset, and knowledge of common maladaptive patterns that can be related to the unique ways neurodivergent people operate. I don't think good therapists are that rare, but finding one that's a good fit for you can take a few tries.

As someone who is demi and married, it was a lot of hard work to find what I was looking for. It was not something I was able to achieve organically out meeting people via a hobby or something. The dating pool is shallow and small for aces, tiny if one is rural. I was determined and persistent because it was important to me, and it still took me about 6 years of consistent effort to find the right relationship for me. I do not blame anyone for just opting out of trying.

I HATE STRUCTURE and I hate that it makes me live my best life and accomplish my short and long term goals 😡

I see, I didn't interpret that paragraph that way

This reminds me of Althea Chrome, the artist who made all of the knit accessories for Coraline.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NQCf8fjgoJQ&pp=0gcJCRsBo7VqN5tD

you deserve the full range of the human experience.

Please remember that if someone is sex repulsed or doesn't feel sexual desire that this is a weird thing to say. There are so many things humans can experience, with varying degrees of joy and pleasure, sex is not in some special category of "required in order to be human". From my perspective if someone hasn't had a perfectly ripe mango they haven't had the full range of human experience, but some people don't like mangos.

I didn't see anything in her posts that implied she wanted a higher libido or that she saw her lack of sexual desire as an issue in her day to day life. I did see her say she might like intimate human connection but that's perfectly possible without sex. I think we might both be doing some projection, as yes I am sensitive to people who recommend seeing a doctor when someone describes what its like to be ace, but also you seem to assume having sex is a prerequisite to having an intimate relationship with someone.

It's not.

Aces exist, there is nothing wrong with not feeling sexual desire or attraction. If it doesn't upset her or effect her life in a way she doesn't like then she doesn't need medical intervention.

As someone who is demi and has lived many years at a time as essentially ace, it's frustrating to hear people consistently downplay asexuality as a physical ailment. No, some people are just like this, it's as valid an orientation as any other.

I haven't watched much standup for a while but even I've heard of Hannah Gadsby, so they must be decently well known at this point.

Sounds great, Photuris for supreme dictator!

Nefara

@ Nefara @lemmy.world

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2 yr. ago

Nefara

I can always find something to talk to someone about

I can always find something to talk to someone about

I can always find something to talk to someone about

Chicken of the Woods

What is your most "Fuck you, this is actually awesome?" take?

Any of you tried DBT before? What did you think? Any thoughts on possible "victim-blaming" with it? (Sorry, I ramble.)

Do you play an instrument? What's your favorite thing about it?

Getting rid of techofascist services

What's your 'old person' trait?

What are some nice more social games?

Experience with regular therapists

40 (or plus) y/o virgins, why are you still virgin?

Permanently Deleted

40 (or plus) y/o virgins, why are you still virgin?

A tiny thin knit sweater would be a chunky sweater for a mouse

40 (or plus) y/o virgins, why are you still virgin?

40 (or plus) y/o virgins, why are you still virgin?

40 (or plus) y/o virgins, why are you still virgin?

Who is the most accomplished diagnosed autistic standup comedian?

Permanently Deleted