Skip Navigation

InitialsDiceBearhttps://github.com/dicebear/dicebearhttps://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/„Initials” (https://github.com/dicebear/dicebear) by „DiceBear”, licensed under „CC0 1.0” (https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/)N
Posts
5
Comments
292
Joined
2 yr. ago

  • This blog perpetuates a lot of common myths about corsetry and I find that disappointing.

    It's a pretty widespread and common thing that children wear similar clothing to adults, and whatever the adult fashion is, kids often get a miniaturized version of it. The children's corsets pictured in the ads there don't minimize the waist or attempt to give them an hourglass, and would have been lightly boned or have no boning at all. If there was boning, it would have been made of flexible material like whale balleen (the material filter feeding whales have instead of teeth, which behaves like a soft thermoplastic) or ribbons, cording or even paper. These are not materials that can damage a body unless maybe you stab yourself with them or light them on fire.

    Corsets were used to provide a smoothing layer under clothes, to give some structure and yes the fashionable silhouette. However, it was commonly understood that a body in clothing was very different from a body out of it. There was more body privacy and control over how your body was perceived. The combination of corsets, stays, "bodies" and strategic use of padding meant anyone could be the fashionable silhouette, no matter your natural body type. Far more women achieved those "tiny waists" by wearing bum pads, hip rolls, underskirts and crinolines, mutton sleeves and frilly blouses than tight lacing. It was all smoke and mirrors.

    Now with skin tight knits and thin leggings and exposed skin the only way to have a fashionable silhouette is for your body to actually look like that, which fuels the fitness and weight loss industry. I find it interesting that these articles always talk about "unrealistic body standards" when ironically body standards have only gotten more aggressively unrealistic and unreasonable, not less.

    Modern corsets have little to no resemblance to their historical counterparts, which were lightweight, flexible, practical support garments that provided some structure to the clothing of the time and bust support for women. Extreme outliers existed but were far from the norm. A lot of the period writing about the harm corsets were doing was written by men bloviating about how stupid they thought women were to wear the clothing they preferred, a time honored tradition which continues to this day.

    There is nothing controversial here, children wore underwear too.

  • Excellent by American standards for most of Boston and Greater Boston, which is to say mediocre by European standards. It's entirely possible to be independently mobile and car free there. Most places are walkable and there are pleasant old buildings and green spaces or plazas or spots overlooking water to stumble upon. It's a lovely city.

  • Ace and demi men are out there, but I won't pretend they are easy to find. I'm demi and looking for someone else on the ace spectrum pretty much eliminated the idea of meeting someone out in the world and locked me in to finding someone online. Back when OKCupid was data driven it was the best way to find other aces and demis but I don't know the current state of it. There's not much visibility for aces so a lot of people don't know to identify themselves as such.

    I dated a variety of people but always came back to people who were ace/demi having the most potential for long term companionship. It just simplified everything, removed the tension, and potential for hurt feelings. Allosexuals might think they can manage a situation like you're describing but in the long term might end up feeling frustrated and sad about not being desired. It was always worth the search when I did find other aces.

  • Chores, organizing, cleaning. I spent so much time working on home projects this summer and when I look around it feels like I lost time. Somehow I've been working consistently without getting a foothold or making progress. Still laundry in the dryer and a mess everywhere.

  • My mother joined me for a one-shot once and this is basically the character we rolled up for her. She was Nana Ylva, a human barbarian. Her thing was generally trying to solve things non-violently (often using her "Mom Voice" aka intimidation) but if she saw her "cubs" under attack she would rage. She had the chef feat that gave food with temp hp boosts. It was a fun little game and my mom still talks about it sometimes.

  • She seems like she was a lot of fun

  • I guess everyone has their own way of boiling an egg!

    I've been very happy with the steamed egg method. I put a steamer basket in a pot with just enough water that it touches the bottom of the basket, bring it to boil and then put as many eggs as I want in to the basket using a pair of tongs with silicone grippies. I set a timer for 11min, put it on medium heat, cover the pot and set up an ice bath. After 11min the eggs go in the ice bath for a minute or two and I crack them and roll them on a cutting board to loosen the shells. They come out exactly how I like them with a golden yolk with a soft orange center and the shells are super easy to peel as long as I get my thumb under the membrane.

    I've made them this way with fresh eggs, week old eggs, month old eggs, home chicken eggs, storebought eggs, and never had issues with peeling.

  • It's because he's actually smiling

  • It's a tactic used by people who don't have the confidence, ability, or power in a relationship to communicate directly. It's usually used to be spiteful, take revenge, or express displeasure, thinly veiled behind some plausible deniability. A passive aggressive action can be something like:

    A person preparing food for someone they feel is unappreciative might deliberately over-salt or overcook it to spoil that person's enjoyment of it

    A person who doesn't like things being left on the floor might purposely step on or trip over/kick something they see there, damaging or dirtying it

    A person resenting being asked to do a task might make very little effort, do it wrong, or make the situation worse than it was to avoid being asked in the future

    It's essentially a way to be hostile and unpleasant to people you socialize with, but if called on their actions, the person being passive aggressive can make excuses or deflect blame. It's not a healthy dynamic and leads to frustration and erosion of trust on all sides. It perpetuates and exacerbates problems rather than resolving them.

  • Yes, believing that they will be discriminated against for things that they like and face negative consequences for expressing who they are will discourage many people from doing things, not just girls.

    There are plenty of girls who fit into a more masculine standard of behavior and will integrate better into male dominated spaces. However, some girls will want to enjoy feminine coded things without judgement in those spaces and that is valid too.

  • I have a female friend in STEM who has dealt with an immense amount of misogyny in her field. She's been the only woman in the room more times than she can keep track of. She has achieved a lot academically, but feels a pressure to conform to a standard of behavior set by men. She loves pink, collects dolls, paints her nails and is unabashedly feminine, and has suffered real social and professional consequences for her gender presentation. It's literally an act of bravery for her to go to work in a soft fuzzy pink sweater.

    I get that the question here is implying that either all little girls are so obsessed with pretty sparkly things that the lack of it would be a detractor, or that it's reductive to assume that they would and that femininity can take many forms. However, it's a valid desire to want to do a thing and be accepted for how you are. If a little girl does love pink and glitter and all classically coded feminine things, seeing someone like you in STEM blazing that trail and making a place for you, is just as validating as seeing other minorities in admirable positions. Representation matters.

  • You don't?

  • Hmm maybe then, some friends in a suburb were saying their neighborhood had aged out of it. The place I went last night was hopping and had a lot of traffic. Maybe the internet has made people optimize their targets?

  • Trick or treating is alive and well in places where you can walk safely, and houses aren't too far apart from each other. The problem is too many places in the US don't fit that description.

  • I've been in a relationship where the threat of self harm was used as a tactic to control my actions. They would threaten to do terrible things to themselves, and often follow through, at various provocations that they accused me of. They might be the ones being hurt but it is absolutely a tactic to manipulate and take power in the relationship. It might not be something they're entirely conscious of, and might even be an attempt to protect or defend themselves in a convoluted way, but in any case it's a blaring red flag and a sign this person needs therapy. It's up to you if you think this person might be able to work this through or is interested in healing and self improvement.

    One thing you should know though, is that YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS. You are responsible for yours, and leaving, distancing yourself or cutting contact would be reasonable, rational, and possibly necessary reactions in this situation. What they do in response to that is completely in their control and not your fault.

  • Sad that the immediate assumption is friends can't hold hands 😕

  • Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Sometimes that extra money buys ethical labor practices, sustainable material sourcing, quality workmanship and item longevity. Not always, there are plenty of scammy "luxury" goods, but there are plenty of brands that are considered luxury simply because they aren't fast fashion and are buy-it-for-life quality.

  • Impressive how many people immediately took up the baton of shitting all over this guy the second they got the order from whatever media bubble they are in.

    I've been reading and watching what he has to say, and the more people screech he's a Nazi it sounds more like a very obvious attempt to make people discount him. "What do leftists hate? Nazis! Hey leftists, this guy is a Nazi!"

    Is the tattoo a problem? Sure. He should have had it covered ages ago, but his posts and positions aren't that of a Nazi so that accusation just falls flat as soon as you do even a minute of research.

  • ADHD Women @lemmy.world

    I can always find something to talk to someone about

  • Ice Cream @lemmy.world

    Addictive and ultra rich peanut butter ice cream

  • Ice Cream @lemmy.world

    Mango ice cream...

  • Gaming @lemmy.ml

    They're doing Civ 7 already

  • ADHD Women @lemmy.world

    What is your "trail of hobbies"?