This was written by a golden retriever

Porcy boys rise up!

Were melting glaciers for this

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I work in public transportation. There’s a certain segment, I’d say a solid 40-50% of people, are effectively illiterate. Maybe they can read, but I have yet to see any evidence of it.

I used to be that night shift worker. I was so grateful for that one bar in town that opened in the morning. Nothing like ending the work week with a bloody Mary at sunrise!

That’s a lot of kielbasa!

Just eat over the sink right out of the pot. Duh

A beat

I felt up my first pair of boobies with my first gf in the back of a 98 Dodge caravan to wonderwall.

But what if a hypothetical advertiser decides it’s too risky to have their brand associated with the sex word? It’s like you don’t care about the money!!

Jagermiester, weed, and a Spotify playlist seeded with bloodhound gang. Just chug, smoke and bellow the lyrics.

You’ve said “here’s the thing” too many times. You are now cursed of the dick

It’s not that they’re mean, it’s just that their go to is to trample. And ho boy can they trample!

It’s a good conductor, doesn’t corrode easily.

I had a kitty that refused to drink from anything that wasn’t a people cup that had been drunk a little.

Don’t be a tim apologist. Tis’nt a good look…

Chewy goodness! One of my favorite things is a toasted bagel turkey sandy

Both please

I wonder how hard it would be to rig up a teeny drone with a bit of thermite?