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HexaSnoot [none/use name]

@ HexaSnoot @hexbear.net

Posts
39
Comments
307
Joined
3 yr. ago

  • Featured

    Angela Yvonne Davis - Novo General Megathread for the 23th-29th of January 2026

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  • They call it "cutting the grass."

    Why?

  • Featured

    Angela Yvonne Davis - Novo General Megathread for the 23th-29th of January 2026

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  • No wonder the pager bombings happened. I didn't know Israel had invaded Lebanon already. Did Israel invade them constantly, or is it like I've read, which is 4 different times? I haven't clicked any links on search results yet due to the mental toll, but perhaps I can look later.

  • Featured

    Angela Yvonne Davis - Novo General Megathread for the 23th-29th of January 2026

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  • Who are Hezbollah?(Is that a grammatically correct sentence?) Are they are a really different group from Hamas? I feel like I hear about them together at times.

  • What's socially helped you have less arrested development? The level of lonliness it took for me to try to stop someone from becoming a Nazi(so I could have them as a shitty friend) was so sad.

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  • I would not go so far as to say shared political beliefs are orthogonal to being a good friend but there are so, so many things that go into the cocktail of making someone pleasant to be around that I do often wonder whether I drastically overrate the importance of politics in friendships.

    It's different when it's your own etnicity being projected on, and you'te seen as a "neutral/good one" or "a dangerous/evil one" based on if you're racist towards your own race along with them or not.

    I knew a person who seemed okay with the topic of socialism, then they spoke negatively about my people's country. Later they hurt me in a way I won't mention.

    So I drew a boundary. My people have some socialism in their history, so of course we are demonized. I can't afford to be close friends with people who demonize the country of my people because that's evidence they may see me as the "good insert my ethnicity." Especially because I don't want to be at a higher level of risk of being around people who are sexually attracted to me simply because they fetishize my people because they, as evidence, don't fully respect me as a insert my ethnicity person. As someone said about being racistly removed from an event's cast, they "stripped me of my humanity and agency, reducing me to an object onto which others can project their racist fears and smears." I cannot sit there forever waiting to be approved by people close to me. They have racist bully shit to say about my people's country without it being a genuinely open question, I don't want to be super close to them. Although I will always run into and befriend some people who may be racist to me, it is a still a way I don't want to try to turn bullies into close friends.

    I'm so sick and tired of tiptoeing around the topic of my people. I'm not totally sure what other boundaries I need to set. I worry openly saying positive, nonracist things about my people will get me attacked verbally, emotionally, mentally, amd maybe and in other ways.

  • askchapo @hexbear.net
    HexaSnoot [none/use name] @hexbear.net

    What's socially helped you have less arrested development? The level of lonliness it took for me to try to stop someone from becoming a Nazi(so I could have them as a shitty friend) was so sad.

  • Featured

    On Ableist Language - A Post from the Disabled Community

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  • that they know better than the people deemed crazy, and in a huge way as people to be exploited.

    I remember I was having social anxiety while talking with a much older man and his mix-aged crowd of friends that I just met at the park. The topic of age had come up. I mentioned I was insert multiple decades-old. (So keep in mind that this man's behavior, was NOT at all because he was so elderly he mistaked me for a kid. There was a guy around my age who he seemed fully respectful of.)

    Later, he invited me to step away from the crowd sitting in the sun to sit with him and his dog in the shade. I was treating the dog extra nice because he told me it was dying of cancer.

    About 10 minutes later, probably deliberately while he had me isolated from his group, he said, "Have you ever been to the looney bin?" I said, "Why, have you?" because I was wondering if this was a lonely guy who was looking for people to relate to him. He said no, but he knew people who have been 51/50'd.

    So he was plain nosey and felt entitled to know just because he felt I was... something, based on my social anxiety? Idk. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of a yes or no on something highly not his business, I responded, "That's private."

    Then he immediately starts interrogating me asking "What direction is your house? Where exactly do you live? You're so young and you've been in here in this park for hours." (A park that many people recreationally hang out for hours in.)

    Later on this site, I made a post asking about why he did that. Someone made a good point that some creeps pretend to be saviors as an excuse to creep. Especially on much younger people.

    Anyhow, I feel like this relates to what you're saying. Even though idk all the ways how.

    I'm learning to ask about manipulators, "What is the game thats being played, and what's the purpose of this thing they're presenting?"

    I'd say the game he was playing was pretending he's only interrogating me as a kind favor towards me. And the purpose of this game was to successfully interrogate me for my home address and other personal information. To stalk me in plain sight.

  • Featured

    On Ableist Language - A Post from the Disabled Community

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  • I wonder who popularly did that first, horror movies or the general public?

  • Featured

    On Ableist Language - A Post from the Disabled Community

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  • One that is confusing is when someone calls another "psycho."

    Like, do they mean psychopath? Or psychotic, as in someone that's in psychosis? Or that someone's angry? Or aggressive? Hyperactively happy? Out of sync with people around them and being a sore thumb? (Etc...) Because there's a big difference between these all.

  • Locked

    Trans Megathread from January 19th, 2025 to January 25th, 2026

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  • As I've learned, if you like/really like/love them as friends, expressing in some way that you do, and that you want to become a bigger part of each other's lives because you value your time together, is very important. Sometimes people are already looking for people who value time with them enough to want more closeness, and need a sign who of their friends is that.

    I realized I couldn't know for sure if my friend didn't want the same. Just like you they could desire the same and have any number of their own reasons to not have transparently told you.

    Remember capitalism creates atomization that makes people act anxiously distant in their own bubbles. It increases the number of times people think "If they really cared enough to bond more with me, they would've insert sign of interest by now." I wouldn't be surprised if this has applied to most members of the human race. In retrospect, many people really liked me but I wouldn't vulnrably show how deeply I wanted more platonic intimacy, and it cost me(and still costs me) close friendships and lots of socializing experiences.

  • About fatphobia, how do you stay proudly loving your body and showing yourself off despite other's self-projections of their own insecurities onto you?

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  • I don't like it, but I know for most of my childhood I felt I could never wear a crop top in my life even though I was already thin. Then, 15 lbs less than now, I did it comfortably when I was a little fat. In retrospect, as a child I was the one projecting my own shame on my stomach, and I know I'm doing it now. Especially when someone obese like comedian Stavros Halkias frequently goes shirtless, has a shirtless statue of himself, and describes how he feels absolutely dashing about his looks. But he's immensely confident, with great assertive comebacks to any insult I've heard people tell him at his shows, and I'm not. Maybe I just need to build an arsenal of simple responses to someone acting disgusted at my stomach.

  • Locked

    Trans Megathread from January 19th, 2025 to January 25th, 2026

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  • If you're confident your two friends won't out you, you could figure out along the way who else will also be safe to tell later. I understand though, learning who you can also trust to never, ever out you without your permission can be tricky.

  • Locked

    Trans Megathread from January 19th, 2025 to January 25th, 2026

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  • I'm so sorry your skin is irritated like this.

    I know this is unsolicited advice, but this makes me recall when used to shave against the grain of my hair everywhere. It could get rashy and dry. Do you want a lotion reccomendation that didn't burn/irritate my skin at all, and prevented itching for days?

    In a pinch, when I ran out of lotion and itched terribly, a thin coat of petroleum jelly helped. I made sure to wash and dry my hands first so the salt from my sweat didn't transfer onto my skin.

    Both did great at helping my skin heal.

  • Locked

    Trans Megathread from January 19th, 2025 to January 25th, 2026

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  • I want to be close with people my friend is close with. So when they asked if I wanted to hang out with their loved one, I told them just that. They felt touched by me saying that, and they started introducing me to their friends a little more. I'm feeling like a bigger part of my friend's life now.

  • About fatphobia, how do you stay proudly loving your body and showing yourself off despite other's self-projections of their own insecurities onto you?

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  • good for her not being suicidal i guess but "life is worth enduring horrible torture" is not an opinion i am capable of understanding.

    I meant to say her words helped me with SI. But I have breaks between my pain so I really can't speak for having chronic pain at the level where I can never perceive my physical beauty. I'm sorry you deal with that.

  • About fatphobia, how do you stay proudly loving your body and showing yourself off despite other's self-projections of their own insecurities onto you?

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  • Disability that's reinforced by societal failings suck. I am disabled and I understand my own case of this. And my body is still mine as long as I'm alive. I will do my best to see it in the light of self compassion and see it's still beautiful after everything. My body endlessly does me noble deeds in that, regardless of all harm I've suffered, it lends me life and keeps me alive. When I show myself off, I'm displaying that this is what resilience looks like. And I can be increasingly grateful for my resilience and happier about my image. I'm starting to think, "I suffer so much, who in my position has time for feeling shame about the thing in this universe that's done me the most favors?"

    I remember a woman, who survived being a comfort woman at the hands of Japanese soldiers who'd invaded China, expressed that life is so beautiful that if she could only subsist on wild herbs to see it, she would. This helped me with SI from my trauma and disability, and helped me value my body more.

    It's okay if you don't feel this is true for you. There are aspects of each emotional moment you can be introspective about, and you've clearly been very materialistic about what causes your despair. I just hope you're proud of your resilience and are not ashamed if you ever want to show it off body-wise. Because the onus of the bodily damage you suffer is on mass societal failure, not you. While not everyone wants to show off their forms of scars, I try to choose visibility.

    Maybe for you right now, the point is not to see that your body is a deeply magical thing, but I think its good to return to that understanding when you feel slightly better in little moments.

  • About fatphobia, how do you stay proudly loving your body and showing yourself off despite other's self-projections of their own insecurities onto you?

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  • Oh hell yeah! You can protect yourself and you're still fit. I wanna practice a mean right hook too.

  • About fatphobia, how do you stay proudly loving your body and showing yourself off despite other's self-projections of their own insecurities onto you?

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  • maybe remind yourself that showing off your body in a very small way impacts societal norms as well.

    Right, people think dress codes are an actual thing. You can dress traditionally to your culture, but me going outside of it isn't actually breaking anything but other's personal rules for themselves. Oftentimes those rules are ways they shamefully limit themselves.

    And institutionally, for example it's not actually inappropriate to go braless and dress in a miniskirt at the work office, HR just doesn't want a sexual harassment lawsuit on their hands and that's why they often try to make workers look sexless as possible. To them lawsuits waste time and money, and capitalizing on a workplace as highly as possible means enforcing a sexless uniform.

    And beauty and health institutions capitalize off shame. If I go out with a freely hanging belly I could slow down my path in allowing these industrial standards to run my life. Maybe I should surprise everyone by wearing a crop top eventually.

  • About fatphobia, how do you stay proudly loving your body and showing yourself off despite other's self-projections of their own insecurities onto you?

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  • I love crop tops, but idk how to deal with having a hanging belly for the first time. I think its unflattering. Strange because that girl with a large belly in a crop top was way fatter, and I my first thought was "WOAH She rocks!"

  • About fatphobia, how do you stay proudly loving your body and showing yourself off despite other's self-projections of their own insecurities onto you?

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  • Sounds like youre refusing to absorb other's self projections and not lashing out. I have no idea if your exact version is completely healthy, but it sure sounds like a safe shell.

    I like showing myself off because I want to feel as radiant and beautiful as possible. I think that's the way more people could feel. And that never feeling and expressing our radiance can be a waste of our life. I wonder how I can do both, what you're doing and what I'm trying to do at once.

    I used to give all people compassion each time I noticed someone acting insecure, but this often hasn't worked because so many people act and talk in bad faith. It's their shell, and when you point out their insecurity by saying its okay to look/be insert an okay thing to be, they usually will deflect and won't allow a crack in their shell for light to be let in. It's sad, I know what it's like to be in the dark about my beauty. Since reaching my highest ever weight, I'm recently very in the dark about it again. I feel like if I vulnerably act and dress like I'm proud of my body, people will feel entitled to shaming me. In their head and out loud with me in earshot of them.

  • About fatphobia, how do you stay proudly loving your body and showing yourself off despite other's self-projections of their own insecurities onto you?

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  • Oh cmon, I think even if you asked for workout tips(the only way I can imagine these comments being appropriate) and saying your diet isn't satisfying, they should express acceptance and encouragement to embrace how you are already, and just try to tell you how to feel better. And that's if you're actually preparing to accomplish a physical feat in the future(like hiking or walking/running further with less breaks), already in mid-exercise(by expressing you're already doing great and to keep it up), among other scenarios that I can't think of rn.

    But on their own, these comments don't seem okay to be telling most thin people.

  • askchapo @hexbear.net
    HexaSnoot [none/use name] @hexbear.net

    About fatphobia, how do you stay proudly loving your body and showing yourself off despite other's self-projections of their own insecurities onto you?

  • askchapo @hexbear.net
    HexaSnoot [none/use name] @hexbear.net

    How do you shop from OEMs(original equipment manufacturer) and buy only one item at a time? Have tips for buying from OEMs efficiently? It sounds empowering, but I'm unsure how to do it.

  • askchapo @hexbear.net
    HexaSnoot [none/use name] @hexbear.net

    What do you dislike about people with martyr syndrome/a martyr complex?(According a therapist I spoke to, it can be called both, a syndrome and a complex.)

  • traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns @hexbear.net
    HexaSnoot [none/use name] @hexbear.net

    Hair growing tip: I used to grow a few inches of hair a year. After taking biotin my hair grows over foot each year. It's been two years since I stopped taking biotin. Hair growth remains the same.

  • covid @hexbear.net
    HexaSnoot [none/use name] @hexbear.net

    For everyone with long covid, please tell the person giving you a vaccine that you have it. If you have insurance, telling them could possibly get you another shot covered later in the year.

  • askchapo @hexbear.net
    HexaSnoot [none/use name] @hexbear.net

    Do you have an estimate of when you're no longer wearing a mask out most places? Like at a crowded store or gym? I'm going maskless a little here and there and I'm wondering if I'm being dumb.

  • askchapo @hexbear.net
    HexaSnoot [none/use name] @hexbear.net

    What are little/big things you do that make you feel pride everyday?

  • askchapo @hexbear.net
    HexaSnoot [none/use name] @hexbear.net

    Have you suffered from scarcity mindset? Have you treated it?

  • askchapo @hexbear.net
    HexaSnoot [none/use name] @hexbear.net

    How many million US dollars do you feel you could have before it becomes detrimental to your well being?

  • askchapo @hexbear.net
    HexaSnoot [none/use name] @hexbear.net

    What helps you learn about history best? Do you reccomend any learning materials for me?

  • askchapo @hexbear.net
    HexaSnoot [none/use name] @hexbear.net

    "Polyphagia/hyperphagia is a feeling of extreme, insatiable hunger...It’s important to see a healthcare provider if you’re experiencing polyphagia."

    yewtu.be /watch
  • askchapo @hexbear.net
    HexaSnoot [none/use name] @hexbear.net

    Idk much about India being colonialized. What made India go from that to being one of the major hotspots in the world for spiritual tourism today? It's an impressive feat.

  • askchapo @hexbear.net
    HexaSnoot [none/use name] @hexbear.net

    How could I tell this white guy why starting to say the N word as an adult, in a deliberately funny tone, isn't okay?

    inv.nadeko.net /watch
  • askchapo @hexbear.net
    HexaSnoot [none/use name] @hexbear.net

    How do you block YouTube ads on your phone?

  • askchapo @hexbear.net
    HexaSnoot [none/use name] @hexbear.net

    I'm trying to understand the concept of doing things with purpose, and looking at things in term of what their purpose is. Any ex of how you do things with purpose and examine the purpose of things?

  • askchapo @hexbear.net
    HexaSnoot [none/use name] @hexbear.net

    I heard the last Chinese emporer Puyi was given the job of a gardener, and was finally happy. This sounds like a nice ending. I'd like to read about it if you have a good source.

  • askchapo @hexbear.net
    HexaSnoot [none/use name] @hexbear.net

    What are some hangups you've had that you got rid of? How did you get rid of it?

  • askchapo @hexbear.net
    HexaSnoot [none/use name] @hexbear.net

    I'm afraid consuming theory will get me crucified or something similar, and I'm not even Christian. It messes with my mood when I consume it. How do I stop panicking about it?

  • askchapo @hexbear.net
    HexaSnoot [none/use name] @hexbear.net

    What are good rules to do with staying safe around strangers? And related rules of staying safe around people you know because they could also be a danger?