I am from the internet. I’m here to help. Not to shame.

Let’s just say I get real uncomfortable when someone says “what are your hobbies” because there are too many. … Oh I just remembered something. I’ll have a new post here in just a moment.

Odd are this kid will be back in government custody with another week or two. We already have enough cats.

Dovey has a little white on her. Just barely calico.

Probably not. Right now she is just a “safety is the high ground” cat.

This is a replay of eliminating the Ba’athist in Iraq. Turns out when you remove the only thing keeping a factionalized sectarian country together it destabilizes the country. We learned this lesson already. Now we’re repeating it because we have an administration that refuses to learn anything from history…

Not including the marinade this took about 50 minutes. I was just going to use the unused refried beans as the side but decided to save those for tomorrow and make the potatoes instead. Without the potatoes this could have been 25 minutes.

Pork, beef and mechanically separated chicken. But close enough.

If you find yourself going through or near Lancaster South Carolina, send me a message. We will figure out a menu

Definitely

All pizzas matter. Even that one.

I use the 5 Minute No Kneed Artisan dough recipe from Jeff Hertzberg. Salt, water, yeast, flour. Same basic idea but keeps up to two weeks. The older it is the better it is for pizza. I use it for bread, English muffins, naan, etc. One dough I can prep in advance and decide what to do with later.

It calls for a two hour rest before putting it in the fridge but sometimes I skip that. I haven’t really noticed any difference if you wait at least 24 hours.

680 grams warm water
10 grams yeast
20 grams kosher salt
910 grams AP flour

Find a crust recipe that seems doable to you. You can find really detailed ones. You can find really vague ones. Normally I make a big old batch of bread dough and put it in the fridge. The closer to 2 weeks old it gets the better for pizza crust it works. In this case I made an actual pizza crust recipe. You can make pizza out of all kinds of bread though. Pizza bagels, pizza on Wonder bread, pizza on naan. Whatever is convenient and works for you. There’s always English muffins too.

If you’re going for a dough you’re probably going to need some kind of rolling pin. You’re going to want a nice, smooth flat surface. You’re going to want to take a fork. Put little holes all over the place in the dough to stop it from puffing up when you cook. Unless you’re going with a traditional Italian pizza.

You need sauce. You can buy pizza sauce in a jar at Walmart for pretty darn cheap. It’ll last more pizzas than you think. You can make your own sauce with a little bit of tomato sauce and tomato paste. You can go crazy with pizza sauce and make it from scratch with garden tomatoes. Find the jar or recipe that works for you.

You need cheese. Do not use the low moisture skim milk cheese that’s $2 at Walmart. Find the whole milk mozzarella that cost almost twice as much. But it only cost twice as much because it’s 16 oz instead of 8 oz. It’s usually next to the Mexican cheese section. It’ll melt and Brown properly. For a 12-in pizza you need about 6 oz out of that 16 oz block.

Test your oven. Can it get up to 500°? Can it get really close to 500°? If you can get a piece of metal in there on the bottom rack that’ll make life a little better. Cast iron pan. Sheet of stainless steel. Whatever you got.

Figure out your toppings. Kitchen scraps. Leftovers. That 2 lb bag of pepperoni that the local meat store sells for $3. Bacon crumbles. Leftover peppers that you tossed in the freezer. Corporate meatballs fried up in the air fryer and then sliced. Whatever you got. Whatever you want.

But be aware that some things are going to juice out a little and mess up the browning If they’re not thin enough. And that is a trick you got to learn. Is that no matter how thick you think you want your bell peppers and mushrooms? You actually want them super thin so they cook up and don’t release a whole bunch of water.

Did you put red pepper flakes on your finished Pizza when you get it delivered or go to a shop? Sprinkle it on before you cook it.

Don’t overthink it. Just make something that looks like pizza.

I’m in North Central Lesser Carolina if anyone wants to stop by. Bring beer.

After I prepped the dough my wife made pie crust. I weighed the flour for her and she was deeply confused why she just couldn’t scoop it.

Ask your kitchen if pizza is right for you.

Pizza isn’t covered under cottage food laws. So many licences and certs needed. You could sell just the crust under most cottage food laws. Take and bake kinda thing.

We have a really good place in town that makes dough a day in advance and gets a proper char on it. I’m not 100% on their toppings but the crust makes up for it. So I’d have some tough competition.

In my adventures I keep an eye out for any scrap that might be reusable. If I found a decent piece of steel it would make my year. I’d be pulling one of my three angle grinders out to make it the perfect size.

I’ve looked around my area and haven’t found fire brick available anywhere. I want to make pizza oven in the yard.

I just picked up 140 bricks from the ruins of my neighbor’s house. I need 400 for a walkway I’m putting in. If I have enough leftovers I might dig deep enough (2’) to get some clay and use it to make a cob oven with the bricks so that the clay protects the bricks from cracking but still work as an insulator to trap heat. Stretch goals.

Yes. I have permission to glean their bricks. Payback for installing security cameras and dealing with the cops every time someone thinks they can just go through someone else’s burnt out private property.

I’m, paradoxically, too old to have watched it on VHS. I had to wait until YouTube.

Well that’s the second time I’ve watched that video in my life.

I definitely recommend a scale for any recipe using flour.

You can make due with premade sauce and crap olive oil until you can afford to upgrade.

I don’t have a pizza stone. Can’t afford it. I have a large cast iron pan I put on the bottom rack. This destroys the cure but it means any yard sale cast iron will work.