One is a greedy, selfish, corporate fatcat stereotype.The other is an obnoxious blue hair, hammer and sickle neck tattoo, “punk wannabe” stereotype.

This list is massively gay.

I’m not sure whose side I want to be on here. Seems like both are insufferable.

I’m going as the ghost of airlines past.

Goodbyes are free, but apologies cost $39 and are payable at the gate.

What an odd thing to say.

You can take my citizenship, it means nothing to me anymore. But you’ll have to take my Costco membership from my cold, dead hands.

Spicy turtle ahead

One time when I was like 19 I dipped bread in whiskey and fed it to a seagull. It couldn’t walk straight and had a hard time flying.

Hindsight being 20/20 that was a rotten thing to do, yes. But that seagull had a rad fuckin day, boy.

Spaghetti with a side of Garlic Texas Toast is fucking amazing.

I only have OFFICIAL TRUMP Coin.

OH SNAP!!! Nice one. Can I see it?

The Euro community is going to lose their shit when they see this. They aren’t at the center of the world.

And only a year late

If this is true, then why does my wife want to leave me for Devin from her work?

Pay up then

But if they peacefully gather in protest, it will be considered a riot and people will be hurt.

Dude, I understand you are upset by my comments, but DMing me demanding that I send you pictures of my feet is inappropriate. Please stop unless you are willing to pay.

You can SHUT YO BITCH ASS UP!

I’m a Michigander. These bad boys are everywhere. I’ve literally caught hundreds of these. Toss them to the gulls.