I don't do it intentionally, but my wife often tells me to look at her when she's talking so she knows I'm listening.

The rest you wrote sounds a lot like ADHD inattentive type, especially executive distinction. And caffeine is a stimulant which can have similar effects as meds. If you can still sleep without problems or even better after drinking coffee, that's an additional indication.

The problem with ADHD is that most of our struggles are things "everybody has once in a while" but it's so much more often and extreme that it makes our lives harder.

Get checked if you have the possibility.