omg, one of the best
- Posts
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- Comments
- 257
- Joined
- 1 yr. ago
- Posts
- 20
- Comments
- 257
- Joined
- 1 yr. ago
Had lists for 25 years, and they did help to a good degree, but still: Same.
But about 2 weeks ago, I think I really cracked the case! In those situations when it is "too much" to do an item from the list, I ALLOW myself to not do an item from the list, guilt-free, but I HAVE TO "simulate" the items briefly in my head.
More than 50 % of the time, that'll lead to the realisation that I'm totally up for doing one of those. Still not everything done, but jumped from maybe 3 out of 10 to 6 out of 10 for a typical weekend. And if I don't feel like it, I can enjoy my shows and other shenanigans guilt-free.
Wrote more about it here: https://lemmy.ml/post/36147982
Does it work? Do you actually do the things on the list?
For me, it works best to have the list on the day before. Otherwise, MAKING the list is what I procrastinate on.
I think it might be true to a degree. Filtering less, or having some people in the tribe who do, who find the odd unlikely solution, who mix the tin with the copper, who spot hidden berries under the snow during a conversation where someone confesses their love to you - it can be an advantage.
But having my heart project, or 5 of those, and never even starting, although I think I'll do it any day now - that can be suffering. When medicated, I picked them up one by one and finished them, and it felt so good. And I realise, I never would have otherwise! Like this broken electric toy with sentimental value that I kept around, and now I just picked it up and fixed it. And some of these took 10 minutes, and some took 5 hours, but instead I lived with the pain of not having it done for so many decades, yes, decades.
Or my beautiful wife who went all-in with so much love, and I did give my absolute best until I broke, couldn't live with myself if I didn't, but it wasn't enough. Yet all that was missing was 20 - 30 minutes per day, timeboxed, of working through todos. Which is absolutely impossible undiagnosed and untreated, which is why I don't blame myself, but no problem now.
It crosses the line to a disorder when it is impairing in multiple contexts, which is part of the definition and a must-criterion. If it's not impairing you anymore, you don't have it by definition. Impairing you only in a society that shouldn't be like this? Interesting question.
I phrased it poorly, but the phenomenon stands: I plan for a brain that does not have ADHD. Medicated, after over 40 years, the plans get executed exactly as planned. Makes me wonder where my brain "learned" to plan for that medicated state, and why it never "learned" to adjust to the state it has been in over 40 years.
I noticed that at school in my kid's class: Several students with ADHD, and all the teachers care about is that they are sedated and sit still. They don't care for them reaching their potential, avoiding all this frustration.
something something rookie numbers ...
So strange that we keep planning for a fully working brain.
Thanks, same. I tried so many methods, most do NOT work for me, but the ones that do make all the difference. This one will certainly also not work for everybody.
Exactly - it was such a massive game changer for me. But for others here, meds didn't help, or they haven't found the right ones from themselves yet.
But not trying? It's like 15 minutes of your life, where is the harm ...
- Get them officially diagnosed: start looking for an appointment now!
- Decide about treatment based on science. In most cases, I believe, medication has the better outcome over non-medication; occupational therapy possibly too at that age, psychotherapy later. But they can tell you what works for that specific case.
- Educate yourself and show compassion. Ask yourself "could this be purely neurological?" before getting angry or forcing something.
During the holidays, I observed my son medicated and unmedicated. I noticed how unmedicated, he gets into all sorts of annoyances to himself even when just playing a board game with me. It's overall not as good of an experience for himself: He is distracted and makes worse decisions, gets my mood down by tripping over water or toppling stacks of cards etc. There are many little things that add up to worse experiences. Might have a hard time getting into whatever is trending in his class, be it sports teams or trading cards.
That is good advice. While ADHD can indirectly interfere with building a habit, it's a different part of the brain, so habits can be built and maintained, and then they become effortless, as if the person had no ADHD. Good for everybody, but with ADHD, it's harder to push through it with "discipline".
Main strategies right now:
- engineered staple foods always available in stock (Jimmy Joy, Soylent, Huel, "This is food", ...). So always the option to have a somewhat healthy meal with 0 effort.
- big freezer & hot air fryer. Good compromise of taste & health: salmon with vegetables in cream sauce. Less healthy: Fries (still best-health fries), fish sticks, vegan burger
- healthy-enough snacks. Currently binging on high protein, low sugar cookies. Obviously not that healthy, but otherwise I'd binge the really bad stuff when I lose control
- healthy snack plate with carrots, apple slices etc.: Just set it up at the desk and see what happens. Thinking about actually eating it is too much mental effort, and it happens automatically anyway.
- JumpRemoved
How to source Adderall?
Well where are you? Or is worldwide travel an option?
Another counterpoint is that some ADHD people, including myself, are not great on vacuuming and dusting. And that's on hard mode with open shelves. Need to pretty often clear them, dust the shelf, clean what was on it, put back.
I managed to wire myself with a trigger to answer my inner dialogue of "I can't ..." with "Well what CAN you do?"
In case of the escalating snacking, I realised that I can't just switch them out with something healthy. But I CAN make a plate of raw carrots, apple slices, cucumbers etc. and set it up at my desk. Surprisingly, that was already one big leap forward. Even my sloth mind - especially my sloth mind - would rather chew on a carrot right now than get a chocolate bar from the kitchen. Beat it with its own weapons.
Absolutely, people are very different. In my particular case, I used to get anxiety, and it got worse with caffeine. Got benzos for years as an when-needed fallback. ADHD had not been diagnosed yet. Turned out that much of it was a magnesium deficit, and magnesium replaced benzos completely. I also tried modafinil before I was officially diagnosed, and it worked pretty great. But that is just my very specific case.
The only general takeaway is to keep searching for what's up and what works for you, and that is probably very different in your case.
She should try my chicken-method, then: Take half a minimum dose, e. g. 5g lisdexamfetamine, if it works go to something like 10 or 15.
Does she get bad side effects from coffee? If yes, stims really might not be for her.
It helps me with the exact same things, and the hard crash used to be similar for me. But the doc found that Vyvanse caused it only indirectly: I was working hard (even on things like cleaning), didn't feel the need for pauses and rest, didn't eat and drink enough. After doing these things by schedule rather than how I felt, it was completely fixed.
Your situation sounds like a different quality, probably with different causes.
For me it works with these two tweaks:
That is the real miracle method I've been chasing all my life.