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Acamon

@ Acamon @lemmy.world

Posts
19
Comments
564
Joined
3 yr. ago

  • Emotional abuse of immigrant children by their immigrant parents probably contributes a lot to to why the kids hate their ancestral language(s).

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  • Do you think emotional abuse is more common from immigrant parents? I feel like I see a lot of comments about the stress and pressure that immigrant parents put on their kids, but it's not something I know anything about.

    If so, why do you think it's like that? Is it just that families that immigrant are often in difficult financial situations, without lots of social support so the parents are super stressed? Or that the kinds of people who are willing to immigrate are aspirational and so demand a lot of their children? Or is partly that their way if parenting would be normal back where they grew up, but for its difficult for their kids growing up in a society with different standards and expectations around childhood?

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    Do you think 20 is too young for a guy to get married?

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  • The answer really depends on you and your relationship. People will say 20 is too young, and that people make bad decisions or might have regrets. Sure, that can be true (remember your brain doesn't finish developing til your late 20s!) but older people still make bad decisions and have regrets.

    If being married, and starting a family is important to you, and you really believe this person and this time are the right choices for that then do it. I got married at 40, and by the time it was official we'd basically been living like a married couple for a few years after dating for a long time before that. By that time I knew my spouse extremely well, I'd seen them in happy times and sad, I'd seen all their flaws and weaknesses and they'd seen mine.

    We're very happily married, but there are time when things are hard, and there's definitely been moments when I wished I was with someone else, but I knew what I was getting in for and I made that commitment. 98% of time its amazing and I'm so happy with my eelao, and even those moments of frustration or upset are different. When we were just dating, they would make me consider whether we should be together, now they make me want to find better ways to be together.

    If you want to feel more confident in your decision, consider the common pitfalls for young couples. How well do you actually know each other? Have they seen you at your worst? Do they know those deep fears and anxieties that influence our life's but we don't even admit to ourselves? Would you love them if stopped looking attractive? Have you talked about the future and are on the same page about kids, where you want to live, etc? If you both really understand yourselves and each other, and want to spend your life together then do it!

  • Why don't you just set an alarm?

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  • Thanks for the reminder, I had genuinely forgotten this morning. Why is it so hard?

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    British snobs casually hating on poor people ("chav" is a derogatory British slur for working class/poor people and 60% of the UK is considered "working class".)

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  • In case any non-British are reading this, 'chav' is a term used to describe a small subset of British working class people. It used to describe young people with "loutish (ill-mannered) behaviour, violence, and particular speech patterns (all of which are stereotypes)" (Wikipedia.)

    It is not a term used to describe the general working class population of Britian.

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    British people of Lemmy, what's up with the normalization of hatred/dehumanization towards working class people in the UK, considering that 60% of the UK population is considered to be working class?

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  • You're right that Britain has a big issue with classism and there's lots negative stereotypes about working class people. But 'chav' is a term for a specific subculture within working class British culture. Most people I know who hate 'chavs' are working class people who have to interact with them regularly. It's like if you were claiming that anyone talking about 'thugs' and 'gangstas' were hating on working class black Americans.

  • Connections #901 2025-11-28

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  • Connections Puzzle #901🟪🟪🟪🟪🟦🟦🟦🟦🟩🟩🟩🟩🟨🟨🟨🟨

    fortunately saw the other other categories quickly, but I would never had gotten Green on it's own. Never heard 'worst' used in that context. How would you even use it? "I worst him"?

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  • I think people spend less time have long conversations with people that they trust, which are best space for nuance and exploring ideas honestly. If you're messaging on social media, or even writing articles for blogs or publications, there's a whole bunch of incentives and barriers that push people away from nuance.

  • The moment I heard that Noam Chomsky is on the Epstein list 🤦🏼‍♀️😢

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  • I understand being angry or disappointed at Chomsky or anyone else for being involved in this horror show. I don't think anyone is saying we should "preserve his good name" or ignore any terrible things he did or condoned.

    But if you respect his work as a linguist (I don't, I think he had a good insight, but is extremely overrated and his disciples cling on to his ideas in a very unscientific way) you can do that while disliking him as a person. If you agree with his political analysis, you can do that even if he murdered someone. His moral failings don't change the content of his work. If Epstein was actually a great financier (rather than just a crook and blackmailer), and that's something that you care about, then sure respect his finance skills.

    If someone's personal failings upset you, and that spoils your enjoyment of their work that's completely understandable. There's books and music that I can't hear the same now I know more about their creators. But you're not under a moral obligation to hate the art because the artist is awful. And as the original commentor said, in the modern world it's becoming an essential skill to cultivate.

  • How americans view the US

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  • A survey or poll is different from a vote. You're right that unless we ask every single person in a group we don't know precisely how that entire group would answer. But this irrelevant, being able to establish patterns in smaller sample groups and extended them to larger population is one of the the cornerstone of science and knowledge.

    An engineer needs to know how much weight a specific size and shape of lumber can safely take. They can't test the indvidual beam to breaking point and still use it. So they test other similar sized pieces of wood, under similar conditions, and generalise. This can be done well, or done poorly, depending on how well they can isolate confounding effects.

    So with a survey, if I just ask 100 people I know, it's would be a decent survey of the beliefs of my social circle, but it would be a poor survey of national beliefs, because my friends are not a balanced representative sample of the wider population. That's why most polling / surveying uses methods to try and achieve a sample that is actually representative. When done well, these ensure the survey respondents correspond to the demographics of a population (gender, education, religion, location, health, etc).

    Obviously this approach has its limitations, and can be done poorly, but there's a bunch of research and evidence for what methods help achieve more accurate results. Saying "this poll can't be accurate because they didn't ask me" is like saying "I don't know if the sun will rise tomorrow". You're right, we won't know for sure until we actually see it rise, but we can infer from past events and confidently predict the likely outcome.

    If you want to say "this survey isn't accurate because it uses an older demographic model that has been shown to be ineffective at representing contemporary attitudal choices" or "this survey is inaccurate because it only controls for age, race and gender, but didn't account for patterns of social media usage which are highly relevant" that's fine, that's engaging with the methodology. But if the problem is "they didn't ask everyone so it's wrong" it really seems like you don't know how surveys works.

  • Is there an optimal home/apartment size that most people would be happy with?

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  • There's lots of architectural guidance, building codes, etc. normally linked to number of people in the household. But it's all pretty damn relative, both culturally and individually.

    When I lived in the city, I was pretty comfortable with a small appartment, because I spent a lot of time out of my home in cultural spaces. Now I live in the country, and in city-terms our house is gigantic for just the two of us. Netherthless, we're continuing to convert old out buildings into more space because the demands on our home are much higher and we have lots of unused space.

    Not only do we live there, but we've got jobs that involve a lot of remote working, and it's also a building site/workshop as we renovate and make our own fixtures and furniture. Plus, because it's more remote, we want guest bedrooms and extra space so that guests can come and stay for a while without feeling cramped. Then we've got animals, who bring their own clutter, and we also want to create a guesthouse that we can rent to tourists. Even without those extra requirements, we choose to sleep in adjacent, but seperate, bedrooms because we have sleep issues. And I know that is a crazy luxury that we wouldn't have been able to afford in the city, but when space is cheap, there's no real reason not to.

    I know that my example is pretty extreme, but everyone's needs are different. I have friends who basically live in one room and love that, because everything is within easy reach and they don't want to have guests. But I know it would be depressing and claustrophobic for others. Sharing an apartment with four adult strangers is a different experience from a family home with four children.

    I think there can be rules (you can't claim something is a bedroom if it's smaller than 6sqm) but there isn't a one size fits all solution.

  • With bathing, water recirculation is more easily accepted.

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  • It's the case for all dishwashers I know about. It's not that weird if you think about it. When people wash dishes by hand, they often wash a bunch of dishes in the same basin, with the water becoming increasingly dirty. Depending on how dirty and how much they care, they'll change the water occasionally. Then they'll give everything a rinse in clean water to get rid of soap. (obvs people do dishes on a variety of ways, but this is pretty common in western cultures.)

    Dishwashers are the same, spray the same hot soapy water over the dishes for a while, until it's dirty and most of the solids have been removed. Then drain and wash again with clean water. The soapy stage is about removing dirt, but the sanitising comes afterwards with the hot rinse and drying.

  • Why I Dumped YouTube (and Why You Might Want to Too – No More Crap)

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  • I feel like I have a very different experience of YouTube than most people on here. UBlock on desktop and Revanced on mobile means no ads / sponsored bits, which is absolutely essential. But I also don't have a problem with the dreaded 'algorithm'.

    I don't know if it's the kinds of videos I watch (nothing political, or popular) or just not being in the US, but I don't get recommended AI slop or crazy propaganda. I just looked through the Home feed the app, looks like half of it is channels I've subscribed to and most of the rest is channels I've watched recently but haven't subscribed to. There's a couple of videos from channels I don't reconognise, so they could be weird slop but that's not the vibe I'm getting at all, and if I clicked and they were I'd just tag it "Don't Recommend this Channel".

    Disapproving of YouTube because it's an evil hegemon makes sense. Supporting alternatives is great (I pay for nebula, even though I end up mostly watching the creators' videos on YouTube). But I'm always curious about why other people seem to have such a terrible experience of the algorithm.

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    Hi. I'm from egypt and had things that isn't common for the average egyptian living in egypt. AMA

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  • What's a change that your government or society could make that would improve things for the people of Egypt?

  • Please come in us!

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  • Yeah, flying around Europe / UK can be pretty damn cheap if you book in advance and with a low cost airline. Normally it ends up costing more, because if you want hold luggage that's another £40, and if you want to sit with your friends that's £15, etc.

    But if you're traveling light it's often cheaper to fly to another country than take train in your own. Which isn't great...

  • Someone At YouTube Needs Glasses: The Prophecy Has Been Fulfilled

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  • And the single video that isn't a "Sponsored" ad is still from Red Bull, and basically an ad.

  • How americans view the US

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  • I'm assuming you know how surveys work? If you're genuinely interested in their data sampling methodology, you can easily find it on the website of the company that conducted the survey (who are named on the infographic).

    I'm not making any big claims about YouGov and their reliability or freedom from bias, but this isn't just some random unsourced poll, so props to whoever made the infographic for bothering to include a source.

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    The brother of the White House Press Secretary had his latina ex detained by ICE in order to win a custody battle over their 11-year-old son

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  • Important story, horrible situation. Definitely not "mildly infuriating"

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  • Really depends on what you want from a job. Does good mean high pay? It's generally rare to have high paying jobs with low entry requirements, but ICE seem to be throwing money around if you've got no morals and abnormal low levels of empathy.

    If good means 'good for community' or 'fun' or 'doesn't involve speaking to too many people' the answers will be quite different.

  • One of Silicon Valley's most prominent techbros is giving lectures on the Antichrist -- and he thinks it's the Pope

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  • Intresting! If anyone has unpaywalled version I'd like to read more.

    I do think it's odd that a billionaire has basically payed to have his own vice-president (I don't think many people would argue that Vance was an obvious choice apart from as a puppet of Thiel) and that billionaire is overtly apocalyptically bonkers, but the press barely cover it.

    I've seen mention that Thiel had been discussing the antichrist in lectures. Butt with all this talk of AI bubbles and the insane amounts of money being funneled into the industry, here's a extremely rich and powerful man, who has basically groomed the VP (alongside all the other influence his wealth gives him) who is making wild messianic claims about AI and accusing any opposition to it as the work of Satan! That's insane!

    Imagine that when Bush was trying to get support for the invasion of Iraq, Rumsfeld was going around giving lectures on the Crusades and the role of Isreal in the Apocalypse. Sure, there was and is support for stuff like that in fundamentalist evangelical churches, but it wasn't the avowed belief of the inner circle of the US government. And if it was, I don't think Britain would have gone along with a literal holy war. Is that really the stage we're at? I use to read about the 3rd Reich and finding it implausible that they were actually making policy decisions based on a invented hodgepodge of occult nonsense, but now it's starting to be believable.