Vote for me to be dictator of the US and I'll promise to stop doing old timey pratfalls

Oooooh nooo look at this mysterious banana on the ground! I hope I don't stand on it and fall over in a dramatic cartoony fashion!

I'll fucking do it, so you better vote. Vote to stop this whimsical tomfoolery before it gets out of hand. There will be a cheesy slidewhistle and everything. You don't want this.

Do I have to bring out the clowns? Because I'll bring out the clowns. They won't be funny, they'll be the sad and depressed kind of clown. When they squeeze their noses it doesn't make the cute honk honk noise, it makes a disgusting squish noise instead. Just awful.