Neutral news
Neutral news
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[a newscaster sits at their desk, has a gigantic grin on his face, barely looks human]Good evening, welcome to NEUTRAL NEWSYour favorite mainstream program that always brings you a balanced perspectiveTonight's top story: Some say a genocide is happening, others say it's a complicated situation
[destroyed buildings, smoke, a crashed car, things look real bleak]LIVE FROM THE CITY OF GENOCIDEBURG[split screen, the newscaster continues talking]A government spokesperson from Genocideland contacted us to clarify that the images you are seeing now might be, I quote, "faked by antigenociders who want us dead"
[in the rubble of a destroyed city, a character looks absolutely desperate, shaking, is screaming]THEY KILLED MY ENTIRE FAMILY[split screen, the newscaster smiles smugly]Thank you for your perspective
[a character in a suit talks, looking very smug]We reject the premise that there was any killing or destruction[split screen, the newscaster still smiles smugly]A bold alternative narrative, worthy of consideration!
[the newscaster is back to the full face inhuman smile, standing next to a chart that shows a BALANCE between TRUTH and FEELINGS]As always, we at NEUTRAL NEWS aim to meet in the middle
[three identical stern technocrat looking characters in suits are standing at a desk, behind a chart that goes up]We need to wait for more data before reactingLet us not get carried away by the emotional responsesIt's a very complex topic[two banners occupy the bottom part of the screen, below the experts]DEATH COUNT: VERY HIGH AND GOING UPOur expert panel says: this could mean anything
[in a destroyed city, in front of an explosion, a character wearing a PRESS helmet talks into a mic]IT'S COMPLETE CHAOS OUT HERE, I HEARD EXPLOSIONS[below the war reporter, the bottom half of the screen is occupied by two banners]UNVERIFIED CLAIMSWe remind you that our experts in the studio say this is still a developing, nuanced situation[split screen, the newscaster is mildly smiling at the war reporter]Remember to take everything you see with a grain of salt!
[back to the newscaster at their desk, once again with the creepy full smile]This was NEUTRAL NEWS presented to you by our sponsor Neutral MilkTired of extremes? Try Neutral Milk! Now with 50% less nutrients!