Biracial Pain

Apparently, I'm not Black.

That hurts.

I'm not being literal, of course. I know I am Black. I am treated as Black by the world. I could tell people that I am 100% African, and they would believe me.

But there is a portion of the Black community who holds that mixed-race people are not truly Black, and they often go unchallenged.

That is the source of the pain.

The Black community was the last thing I had.

Seriously.

I hardly associate with anything else about myself at this point.

I don't care that much about any queer communities anymore.

A sense of connection with communities around my views, such as veganism, Marxism, and atheism seemed to diminish more and more.

My interests? I love metal and writing music, but even that is a community I cannot care about.

But my Blackness? It was all I had, and now I do not even know if I have the community anymore.

I'm in tears.

I am stranded. I called 988, even, just to have someone to talk to, and what I get is some clueless white lady.

This hurts because, if I do not have Black people, I have no one.

I think I am alone.