Thought in my head about if you suspect someone of being poly and your interested them, is it worth asking?

This does relate to my previous post and I like the “just flirt” route since its got the best case for it

  • CerebralHawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    13 days ago

    Monogamous person here. I would not be offended if someone asked me if I was, or if someone else is. I think it’s kinda hot. It’s not something I’d want to be in long-term, but for a night? Shit, why not? That said, I’ve been married almost 20 years, and my wife and I aren’t looking for a third or a couple to play with. Maybe when we were both 20 years younger. Not now. That’s a younger person’s game (to my mind anyway). But offended? No way. You do you, boo.

    You can also ask me if I’m gay or trans. I’m neither, but I won’t mind being asked as long as it’s respectfully. And I’ll answer in kind. I have been hit on by men. Not often, but it’s happened a few times. Always flattering, as long as they take no for an answer. They always have. I mean, it’s kinda dangerous for them if they don’t. Not from me. I just mean in general. And violence against LGBTQ+ has always been a factor, unfortunately. Still, I’m flattered they think I’m worth their time. But I don’t swing that way. I thank them for the compliment and wish them well. I think it’s the best you can do in the situation. And while best is the enemy of good, well, I try to be better.

    • SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      13 days ago

      If you don’t mind gay men hitting on you, you may not be representative of typical monogamists, lol

      Also, not sure about a young person’s game … I’d love to have one or two more people in my life, and I’m 48. Can’t see that changing any time soon

      • CerebralHawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        12 days ago

        I don’t get offended when anybody hits on me, but the answer’s gonna be no regardless of whether they got the same thing in their pants as my wife. I’m not into masculine body types and I’m not into cock. The person behind either/both does have feelings and there’s no sense in being rude because they shot their shot.

          • CerebralHawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            11 days ago

            Most people don’t think or behave like I do. That was hard to accept when I was a kid, and something I’ve spent years learning to deal with.

            I’ve also been called an egg and I had to look up what that means. They were saying I’m trans and in the closet about it (as in, the egg hasn’t cracked/hatched yet). That came up because I play female characters in video games. It started with Fallout 3 because you get a perk for being female. Better vendor prices from men, and more damage dealt against male enemies (guess what most raiders are; also, I think monsters default to male). A lot of games had perks like that. Animal Crossing is largely made for girls, so something like 60-75% of the furniture, clothing, and other style choices are female-focused. So my villagers are girls. Yes, I realise this means I’m basically playing with dolls and building a dollhouse on an island with cute animals. I… don’t care. It’s a relaxing, chill game. Then you have games like Mass Effect and Cyberpunk 2077, where playing the male character seems like a handicap to the story or voice acting quality. I’ll play a guy if I have to (currently playing The Witcher 3). Anyway, I’m not trans, nor an “egg.” I’ve considered it. Asked myself “is there any merit to that argument?”. I cannot find one. I also kill people in video games, but I have no desire to kill anyone in real life. Sometimes a game is just a game, and role playing means you’re stepping out of your comfort zone and playing a role.

            I can’t speak for other men/AMAB people. I can only speak for myself. I don’t mean to say others think like me or do like I do.

      • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
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        13 days ago

        Another straight monogamist here, hit on is hit on. As long as it’s not pushy I can tolerate some flirting from pretty much anybody, just realize it’s not going anywhere.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        12 days ago

        I’ve watched some people fall out of it over the years, but plenty of others fall in. And some who fall out really just needed a break and get back into it

        • SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          12 days ago

          Mmm, it’s probably psychologically good to have a break, to separate the drama of young poly relationships from the point where one is ready to approach it in a mature and caring way