I’ve never understood people that yearn to be a kid again. When I was a kid, especially when I was in high school, I desperately wanted to get all that over with and become an adult. And when I became an adult, things were rough, but I felt so much better for so many reasons.
As I’ve aged, this sentiment has only been further reinforced by my experiences with aging. Not to toot my own horn, but I’ve been aging well and have gotten more attractive the older I get (so far). My social skills have improved so much, I was painfully awkward and unable to successfully socialize as a young person. Holy fuck, I actually have real friends and relationships now, it’s amazing. Yeah I got responsibilities, but I can actually do things I want to so long as I stay within the confines of those responsibilities, definitely not something I had as a kid either. And honestly, I’m a much better person, which I won’t get into too much, but I was closer to being right wing in my younger days.
Sure, it’ll stop feeling so great at some point, but I’m kinda past the point where most people start to say getting old sucks and you know what, I say no, it’s pretty cool actually.
I just hit 40 and while it’s not normal or typical, I’ve had the worst year of my life. More and more chronic pain. I work a physical job so its not because of sedentary lifestyle either. My stomach has basically collapsed (constant daily pain that my doctor doesnt know how to treat and referrals to gastro specialists refuse to see me) my food options are extremely limited and thinking about eating depresses me horribly; my feet and legs are sore after a single shift when I could go a day or two before they ached. My shoulders ache every morning, my back is sore constantly. I spend about an hour every day stretching to make things manageable and keep the pain at bay, but sometimes something gives and I’m in horrible pain for about a month while it slowly heals (this is often complicated because I have to keep working while in recovery which likely slows it down or outright prevents proper healing).
I don’t know how I’m expected to keep this up for another 30 years. I have a family history of many cancers as well, so I’m sure I’ll catch one of those shortly, my eyesight has never been good. And if I’m lucky I might get rheumatoid arthritis from my mom which would basically make work impossible. My mantra these days is to simply try and take it one day at time. Because thinking about the future makes me feel bad.