Like, yeah, money is and will be a problem, I am up to my neck in debt. But I feel like I’ve just been released from prison. I just finished my first year as a civil engineer. These fuckers didn’t like me from the beginning, abusing me with all kinds of undermining, racism, professional negligence. My supervisor, some fuck my age, a nick fuentes type, had been sabotaging me all year, funneling me with dog shit assignments. Corporate culture is a scourge on humanity, this is the devil’s work. Demonic stuff. Lovecraftian without any of the charm. These people are fucking psychotic. There’s a reason that ‘laws of power’ book is so popular, it’s a tome on how to be a sociopath and survive.
They let me go last week. This same ‘supervisor’ texts back today ‘Hey hope you’re doing alright. We have an expense check for you. I could swing by or mail it to you’
Like, ewwwwwwwww, holy fuck no. i know It’s pretty essy to find someone’s address but I’m not going to go out of my way to invite this chud over or validate his feelings. This is ridiculous, I need the money but I also don’t want him rounding up his 
bros and showing up at my apartment with pitchforks. Maybe I’m going crazy but I genuinely see corpos as a different race of people that I’m definitely 100% racist against.
Says a lot about myself that I tried fitting in with the borg, I just wanted to learn engineering and earn a living. I didn’t think I’d have to grovel in front of the head capitalists at the firm and play act like 50% of the time. Am I supposed to be doing a good job, or maneuvering around some boss’ cryptic feelings? And then the hopefuls, the bootlickers. Absolute miscreants jesus christ. Trying to find the next best person to throw under the bus so they can look better? Guess what, it works folks! I tip my hat to this pathetic shit. These people are giddy to get coworkers fired, this is worthy of study via lobotomy. My career might even be over before it began. Took me like 7 years just to get to this position. All fucked because of the three chud gammons I worked with, particularly the Nick Fountain douche.
What was I even thinking being earnest about my job within the halls of capitalism, like even with all that theory. Grade A dumbass, now that is psychotic. It’s almost all my fault entirely, really.
Sorry you’re going through that. I’m ~ a decade into a civil engineering career (more water and ecosystem restoration), and so much of the early career is spent eating shit. I’ve never been good at that so I’ve bounced around a bit, and am now at a place that seems different culturally (median age is <35; claims to be employee owned and flat hierarchy), but time will tell.
I’ve kind of always hated engineering but it retains me somehow - I guess building and fixing stuff is fun if it’s not too clearly tied to a corporate death drive. But it’s all funded by some tainted bullshit at the end of the day (war industry, transportation industry, land development industry, ag industry, etc) and there’s a dearth of anything resembling ethics since one’s success seems to be correlated to a lack thereof. Idk at this point I’m just trying to shoehorn theory into training junior engineers so a) they’re less miserable than I was in their position b) they’ll be less cucked than their counterparts c) they’ll realize what leverage is possible with collective organizing d) they’ll realize how to apply their own skills with others to build a better future
But yeah. Shit sucks. Chin up, and good on you for not sacrificing yourself for the sake of a job. A better future is out there