I knew a guy who always seemed to have a girlfriend, in spite of him being sort of a troll, but the guys who knew him would say “Yah, but have you seen the girls he goes out with?”
It always gives me pause when I see unattractive couples. I think “why are they attracted to each other? And how do they even feel attractive enough to be in the game? When I feel ugly I feel unattractive and completely lose my libido and desire to be with anyone else.” Then I look at myself, conventionally attractive yet alone, because I have such high standards and/or crippling anxiety, and I remain alone. Which serves as yet another reminder not to judge other people, because they are better off happily living their lives without overthinking things.
When I feel ugly I feel unattractive and completely lose my libido and desire to be with anyone else.
Ah, but when another person likes you and wants your body, that makes you stop feeling unattractive usually. And when someone gives you that feeling, you might not care as much what they look like.
I’ve found myself being interested in girls who weren’t what I’d typically find attractive at first but their personalities grew on me so much that I started to be blind to the looks issue.
That was me and my ex, until she turned out to be an actual monster of a human being and consequently I stopped finding her attractive physically too. Turns out horrible people can mask it for a while. But when I still liked her as a person, I was also attracted to her physically
Now that we’re divorced and a fair amount of people have asked me what I saw in her (look wise in particular, for some reason), I’ve told them that her looks were never an issue for me at the time, I even found her beautiful. If you love someone and see them smile or laugh, that just changes everything after all. It was only after it was over that I realized she was never actually conventionally attractive.
I knew a guy who always seemed to have a girlfriend, in spite of him being sort of a troll, but the guys who knew him would say “Yah, but have you seen the girls he goes out with?”
It always gives me pause when I see unattractive couples. I think “why are they attracted to each other? And how do they even feel attractive enough to be in the game? When I feel ugly I feel unattractive and completely lose my libido and desire to be with anyone else.” Then I look at myself, conventionally attractive yet alone, because I have such high standards and/or crippling anxiety, and I remain alone. Which serves as yet another reminder not to judge other people, because they are better off happily living their lives without overthinking things.
Just to clarify here, “troll” in this case refers not just to looks but he had a very sketchy personality too.
Ah, but when another person likes you and wants your body, that makes you stop feeling unattractive usually. And when someone gives you that feeling, you might not care as much what they look like.
I’ve found myself being interested in girls who weren’t what I’d typically find attractive at first but their personalities grew on me so much that I started to be blind to the looks issue.
That was me and my ex, until she turned out to be an actual monster of a human being and consequently I stopped finding her attractive physically too. Turns out horrible people can mask it for a while. But when I still liked her as a person, I was also attracted to her physically
Now that we’re divorced and a fair amount of people have asked me what I saw in her (look wise in particular, for some reason), I’ve told them that her looks were never an issue for me at the time, I even found her beautiful. If you love someone and see them smile or laugh, that just changes everything after all. It was only after it was over that I realized she was never actually conventionally attractive.
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