You’ve never really spent much time with infants and young children have you? Empathy is a skill we learn in order to survive in our social system. It is not something we are born with. We are born as bundles of pure self without any sense of other things as independent things that exist even when we can’t perceive them (let alone other independent selves like us). As we mature, empathy is a choice we cultivate in our selves. I may believe that most people are basically good (or want to be good) and everyone has the potential to be good, but no one is born “good”. When we are born, good and bad are concepts that have no meaning to us beyond what is good or bad specifically and only for ourselves.
I’ve been there. It’s hard. Please continue to be idealistic about the potential of people. Balancing hope against grounded expectations is a worthy goal though.
If you (not you specifically) already believe that you are a good person, will you continue to work to be a good person? I know that for me, I feel better believing that I am not actually good, but that I’m trying to be. I feel that holding on to that idea will serve me best. And it doesn’t hurt to remember that other people are also often just trying to be that better person in their own way (or at least I hope most are, some obviously don’t consider it at all). Of course people will disagree about what that looks like for themselves and others. Empathy isn’t an end or a given, it’s constant work.
You’ve never really spent much time with infants and young children have you? Empathy is a skill we learn in order to survive in our social system. It is not something we are born with. We are born as bundles of pure self without any sense of other things as independent things that exist even when we can’t perceive them (let alone other independent selves like us). As we mature, empathy is a choice we cultivate in our selves. I may believe that most people are basically good (or want to be good) and everyone has the potential to be good, but no one is born “good”. When we are born, good and bad are concepts that have no meaning to us beyond what is good or bad specifically and only for ourselves.
youre right of course. and its something i will learn with time i guess. my idealism is definately something i should be wary of. thanks
I’ve been there. It’s hard. Please continue to be idealistic about the potential of people. Balancing hope against grounded expectations is a worthy goal though.
If you (not you specifically) already believe that you are a good person, will you continue to work to be a good person? I know that for me, I feel better believing that I am not actually good, but that I’m trying to be. I feel that holding on to that idea will serve me best. And it doesn’t hurt to remember that other people are also often just trying to be that better person in their own way (or at least I hope most are, some obviously don’t consider it at all). Of course people will disagree about what that looks like for themselves and others. Empathy isn’t an end or a given, it’s constant work.