I’m probably more in that latter camp, despite a contentious relationship with my queer identity. “Crush” in my circles doesn’t really have quite as much of a negative connotation but more of an innocent one. A crush is usually new because it’s an unstable position to be in - you either make the move or have to move on eventually.

I’m poly and pretty sympathetic to relationship anarchy, and I find the straight, monogamous conceptions that dominate our culture very difficult to interface with. It took me a while to put my finger on the reasons that romance in media (films, books, especially songs) very, very rarely tugs on any of my heartstrings.