I usually put on a brave face here, but I must admit that I’m still a lil sad that I’ve never experienced a relationship; less for the sex and more for the connection. I don’t truly know if anyone I’ve met in person has ever been into me (except for the person who gave me unwanted massages, but that isn’t the same) >_<
Heavier stuff
I’ve never liked the idea of meeting people or doing things just for relationships. I’m not proactive in any way, as almost all of it feels desperate and scary. I don’t like interacting with ulterior motives, and I get so uncomfortable when it comes time to flirt. On top of that socializing is so tiring, and I’m just not motivated enough to do more than the minimum. It’s hard work, so it doesn’t get done because I suck at doing things that I’m not motivated to do.
Being wanted online is something, but I still yearn more substantial experience. While I have learned to handle the shame, I can’t help my feelings of loneliness. I can’t fully fill that hole with family, friends, or online community. I’d probably want it again just as much if I did have it in the past, but at least I wouldn’t be as scared. At least I’d understand more than unrequited feelings
I usually put on a brave face here, but I must admit that I’m still a lil sad that I’ve never experienced a relationship; less for the sex and more for the connection. I don’t truly know if anyone I’ve met in person has ever been into me (except for the person who gave me unwanted massages, but that isn’t the same) >_<
Heavier stuff
I’ve never liked the idea of meeting people or doing things just for relationships. I’m not proactive in any way, as almost all of it feels desperate and scary. I don’t like interacting with ulterior motives, and I get so uncomfortable when it comes time to flirt. On top of that socializing is so tiring, and I’m just not motivated enough to do more than the minimum. It’s hard work, so it doesn’t get done because I suck at doing things that I’m not motivated to do.
Being wanted online is something, but I still yearn more substantial experience. While I have learned to handle the shame, I can’t help my feelings of loneliness. I can’t fully fill that hole with family, friends, or online community. I’d probably want it again just as much if I did have it in the past, but at least I wouldn’t be as scared. At least I’d understand more than unrequited feelings
Too real for my horny depressed lemmy