Many of us have heard the deprecating characterizations of many countries. Like Putin described the UK as an “insignificant little Island”, and Russia has been characterized as a “mob run gas station” or Trump calling El Salvador, Haiti and African countries as “shithole countries”.
Let’s flip things around for a bit of fun. After a heavy night of drinking with your country’s head of tourism, you have one shot to give your best self-depricating characterization of your country for a new border sign.
I’ll go first:
Welcome to Canada - Enjoy world class sexual assault in sport – Come and play!
Why limit yourself to just a border sign? Let me write a whole self-deprecating travel booklet!
Welcome to one of the world’s famous places for exile convicts since XVII century!
It’s cold in here? Oh, don’t be silly, just put on some warm clothes! You simply have to, as you’re now trapped here and not even allowed to have too many proper roads to the mainland. Don’t even try to leave this place!
Tired of campism? Don’t worry, there are only two living camps: governor-general’s people and aggressive bears. So you won’t be torn between factions… you’ll just be torn into fractions.
No, of course you’re not allowed to claim any of these abundant natural resources! In fact, you’re considered as one of them. How convenient to keep you here!
Welcome here! You have chosen, or been chosen, to relocate to one of our finest remaining places in the globe. It’s safer here. At least there are no motor-scooter sounds in the night sky…