You don't get to tell people who are harmed, oppressed, and marginalized that they have to play nice with their oppressors. If you choose to take that task upon yourself, that's fine and noble but you don't tell a rape victim that they have to speak to their rapist after they realize they might have done something wrong. That's not how this works. That person wanted LGBTQ people harmed. Point blank. You don't tell LGBTQ people to play nice with them now.
Yes, I understand the political calculus at play. Yes, I'm an activist and organizer with over 20 years of experience in this. Yes, I know what's at stake.
Too bad. That's now how it works. My advice, keep people like her clear of people who will call her stupid (and worse), not the other way around.
And when she ACTUALLY understands why she's a horrid person, maybe then others will be willing to not attack her.
Until then, she's unrepentant, unreformed, and a repugnant human being and many will rightfully tell her that in no uncertain terms.
Just defed them.