hold it right there, sonny, you got a license to be gettin’ ideas?

Don’t forget cheap.

Jinx, you owe me a soda.

can you explain to me exactly how you’d smoke the famously nonflammable lung cancer rocks

I’m just curious, is all.

Now, cigarettes with asbestos filters, on the other hand…

excuse me w h a t ?

great, now instead of being distracted by memes I’m remembering the things I don’t like to talk about.

sure, but this is Calvin we’re talking about watching.

you bastard

You know, I’m really not sure what Paige’s problem with Quincy is, when you consider the other semi-exotic animals your average teenager could reasonably be expected to care for as pets (off the top of my head: a tarantula, a ball python, rats).

Like, of the possible options, I would assume the lizard to be the least repulsive for the average person, but what do I know.

Washington joins only Russia and Belarus in its decision to exclude OSCE observers.

oh yeah, this isn’t concerning at all; look who we’re joining, absolute bastions of democracy.

Won’t someone rid us of this meddlesome oompa loompa?

This implies websites couldn’t/didn’t lie to you before AI, which I think is hilarious.

Only five dollars? I know it’s 1989 money, but… Only five dollars? Rosalyn, you could squeeze them for double that!

well, I mean, yes, piss will melt ice, in that you are correct

this is certainly one of the first posts of all time

but are you also a buff anthro lion?

Been a long time gone, Constantinople

SO

take me back to Constantinople!

ah, so the solution is just “don’t have autism”, got it.

well, I have little faith in the current administration being the one responsible for a new breakthrough in the curing of autism (unless that breakthrough is gas chambers), and academia is moving away overseas anyhow now, so I guess that’s not happening.