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throwaway94715 [none/use name]

@ throwaway94715 @hexbear.net

Posts

3
Comments

25
Joined

2 yr. ago

8mo ago

Something is wrong with my boomer parents—I don't understand their relationship with money (or life in general). I think they may be seriously mentally ill
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throwaway94715 [none/use name] @hexbear.net 8mo ago

He talks frequently about how the retirement money is more for her than him. There's a dissonant mixture of love and contempt. He was head-over-heels for her, but his anger issues pushed her away. She took up religion (subconsciously?) to spite him, because she was too submissive and traditional to leave him, and he hated nothing more than religion. He still sometimes snipes at her about "preachers". I think it's okay to hate televangelists as he does, but he should have long ago either accepted who she is, or left her.

8mo ago

Something is wrong with my boomer parents—I don't understand their relationship with money (or life in general). I think they may be seriously mentally ill

6

throwaway94715 [none/use name] @hexbear.net 8mo ago

It could very well be as "simple" as depression and past trauma. My sister mentioned schizoid personality disorder yesterday, and reading about it kind of sounds like my dad except for the "not getting angry" part.

8mo ago

Something is wrong with my boomer parents—I don't understand their relationship with money (or life in general). I think they may be seriously mentally ill

throwaway94715 [none/use name] @hexbear.net 8mo ago

Just my mom.

Well, maybe my little brother too. He found Jesus a couple years ago.

8mo ago

Something is wrong with my boomer parents—I don't understand their relationship with money (or life in general). I think they may be seriously mentally ill

throwaway94715 [none/use name] @hexbear.net 8mo ago

My mom finally leveled with me and showed me her Merrill Lynch account about a year ago to ease my depression and make me feel okay about buying things for myself like clothing. My financial anxiety was immediately wiped away and replaced with confusion and anger. Overall, it was a great improvement though (that's how much money weighs on people under capitalism). I'm trying to process the anger in a healthy way and repair the family. My parents are fucked up and have difficulties expressing their affection for me, but they would both die for me in a heartbeat. I'd be living on the streets without them, and I know of parents who would be letting that happen instead. My mom has also been very kind in letting me buy a few treats for myself over the past year, which is something I can do with a healthy conscious now that I have the full picture of their financial situation. It's been therapeutic towards the trauma of past penny-pinching.

8mo ago

Something is wrong with my boomer parents—I don't understand their relationship with money (or life in general). I think they may be seriously mentally ill

throwaway94715 [none/use name] @hexbear.net 8mo ago

I got my ADHD from him. But I got diagnosed and started coping ten years ago. He's never had the benefit of that awareness. I'm trying to share my techniques.

The credit card debt is a result of a lack of communication and mutual decision making. My mom handles all of the finances, and she has been covering the costs of treats but also all the emergency expenses with the credit cards, because she doesn't want her stock numbers to go down. If my dad had his way, he would probably have chosen to sell some stocks instead.

I've tried the age angle, and also the resell value angle. Too early to tell if it worked. People rarely turn around and say "yes, you're correct" when it comes to deeply personal issues. You can only plant the seed and wait to let the gears turn on their own.