Some forms of magnesium can help with sleep. Magnesium threonate makes me tired but doesn't have a rebound effect like melatonin where I jolt awake when it wears off. The only issue is its cost, though it's worth it for me.
I knew some families with that behavior. They are rare, but extremely hurtful. Look into trauma therapy (and ask a therapist what makes them qualified for that, instead of taking their word). You may have developed some hidden coping mechanisms just to survive, and a (good) therapist can help you determine if those mechanisms help or hurt you.
Your brother's behavior seems extremely uncommon, to say the least. I can't imagine that behavior being tolerated in a (functional) work place.
I thought Mturk was primarily used for labeling data for ML models, i.e., "here's data. Look at it and give it a label according to our specifications". Do they have a component of Mturk for piloting devices?
Do you have a guess on the underlying issue(s)? E.g., trauma (intergenerational, complex, or acute), issues related to neurodivergence (ADHD or ASD), psychiatric conditions (bipolar, schizophrenia, etc).
If so, filter out therapists that don't list the issue as something they treat. Then call them and ask if they have specific training for that issue. A "reputable" therapist should point to a specific training program or certification that you can research. If they say something like, "I'm comfortable talking about that issue but have no training in it," look elsewhere.
The bigger thing to consider: finding a therapist is a match making process. You may have to go through multiple therapists before you find one that helps. Even something as small as communication style is a valid reason to find a new therapist.
Woah, I had never considered that. To think, all these years I was on the side of "initial index is 1." I've unknowingly been using "initial index is 0," since I started using numbers.
Your childhood sounded very difficult. I'm sorry you experienced that.
Have you explored what issues contributed to your family's behavior? E.g., intergenerational trauma, inherited mental health issues, etc. Knowing won't suddenly fix everything, but can help you feel better by adjusting your life.
I hear you. The bigger issue is that companies are now giving technical interviews that previously would be a 2 week long in-house project, but now demand "proficient candidates" complete within 3-4 hours. They compromise by saying, "you can use any chatbot you want!"
My interpretation is that the market wants people to know enough about what they're doing to both build AND fix entire projects with chatbots. That said, many organizations are only selecting for candidates who do the former quickly...
Are you able to speak with a therapist? Do those big feelings seem to appear randomly or due to consistent behavioral triggers?
Do you have any specific trauma from family or bullies? If so, you should look into a "trauma -informed" therapist.
Note: If this is your first time meeting with a therapist, know that it's a match-making process. Before jumping into your personal history, determine if you and the therapist can communicate well, and you feel comfortable to communicate.
A good therapist will likely not tell you, "here's what's wrong with you. Go sort it out." The goal will be to understand how your brain and body respond to your environment. It's a learning process.
Pick something in your daily life that you want to make more convenient. Start searching for tutorials, necessary hardware, and related coding.
Even something simple like, "I wish I didn't have to turn on my fan because it's in the corner." Boom: look into building a motion sensor that runs a fan, and maybe it connects via a USB port for power.
Convince yourself it doesn't need to perfect. It just needs to create a convenience that happens to teach you something.
Some forms of magnesium can help with sleep. Magnesium threonate makes me tired but doesn't have a rebound effect like melatonin where I jolt awake when it wears off. The only issue is its cost, though it's worth it for me.