Ey this’ll get ya arrested in Boston.

Hey man. I could totally use that for…some lemonade I could maybe make maybe.

Weekend at Chase Manhattan.

Oh hell yeah. (T-Rex sounds)

Derek needs to be on the sandwich offender list.

I once opened for the Melvins and had a killer fire extinguisher solo. I was warned not to return.

Rizzo’s discount burial shredding! You dead ‘em, we shred ‘em.

In prison.

Butthole destroyed.

Make check on coin.

Massive loss in value.

No.

Relatable

“Did you want to come to Chris’s birthday party-“

BAT! (Poof and flies away)

You see a lobbyist’s love is very different from that of a square.

This is what we in the industry refer to as a “big oof.”

I love needlessly long manga titles.

My cat launched a nuke and to stop it I married my plumber!

Let me tell you something. I once had a chance to buy one of those giant ass snickers bars. It was designed by engineers to be eaten as a group activity, but I had a theory I could just eat it, and screw everyone else. I was young at the time, but sometimes youth makes “good” choices that turn out horrible. I didn’t buy that giant bar. I regret it. I regret that I’ll never be able to chonk out. Chonk out like a mad man. No. Now you can’t even buy them any more. What was once a dream, is now ash. What is left to do now? Eat a salad!? WHY DID I MISS MY OPPORTUNITY OH LORD!!!

Hey Mittens! What are you up to?
(DOOM music kicks in)