Hey man, that sucks. I won’t claim that things will be better because I can’t know that for sure, but it does seem times are changing. When I was a kid a trans person was a punchline. When my parents were kids a trans person was a pedophile and worthy of death. The kids I work with now are aware of trans people and just accept it as part of human diversity, like hair or skin colour.
If you can’t be out now then don’t be, you are the judge of that and nobody should be telling you what to do. That doesn’t mean the future will be like today. There may be a day where it seems more possible or you find a new friend group. You may find that you can be more flexible in that group and take the risk, making yourself more comfortable. I would recommend not closing yourself to the idea, just accepting that right now it isn’t working for you and you are putting on hold for a while. We all wait for things, that doesn’t mean giving them up or never trying again, it just means waiting and making the best of your time now.















Conversation have a flow, and sequence of performances from each participant. Saying “I’m tired of classic rock” is a stop point for the conversation. If you use this wording you are not making a space for their next response.
Instead you could consider saying something more like “I’m not really into classic rock, do you have anything else?” Or even more directly just add “Do you have anything else?” to the end of your original statement. If you close the conversation around classic rock but open a new one about another genre or a request for their other preferences the conversation can go forward.
That said, this is all masking. If you are not interested in maintaining that relationship it may be more trouble than it is worth then ending things there may work for you. If someone required that level of emotional work from my end but did not reciprocate by adopting strategies that worked with me I would feel it was pretty unfair and not really worth my time. Being flexible and kind is something that should be reciprocal, not one sided. Masking costs you something and you not masking costs them something. Meeting them half way may make sense, but it may also be pointless if they won’t actually meet you there.