Thank you for this lengthy reply !
Yes, I do have social anxiety.
I do try to break it many times but inherently it is there. Without a very good reason, I will keep it in the comfort zone ( lazyness + anxiety , I guess ).
I may need a set of friends who are not judgemental.
Sometimes I want to continue that relation. But, most times 1. I dont remember their face or parts of the talk 2. I just dont actively think about continuing ( Its like I have to put a remainder on that talk - quite dumb ? ) 3. They might be disinterested in the next time ( partly, I believe of silly way of expressing things )
Thanks, I do have curiosity about learning like most persons I know.
What kills my curiosity are :
Too much basics to learn
Inconsistency/Lazy zone/Comfort zone
Family/Kids
Its like most people's attitude ( If I am in that better place/position , I will learn more. In current place, I have to take more effort so I wont try at all ! ). So, thats a part of my dumbness .
Can u elaborate how you are using it